Mass Effect Futures: A Renegade's Tale
by BXA
Summary: A new hero rises 22 years after the destruction of the Reapers. She was chosen to follow in the footsteps of the great Commander Shepard, but she will not willingly let herself be the compared to her predecessor. Alongside three of Shepard's old companions she must face a new threat to the galaxy. The Shadow Broker is not pleased, but our hero seems unperturbed. At least at first..
1. Chapter 1

Okay, lets get it started! This isn't my first fan fic but it's the first one published here, so let me know what you think. Updates will not occur regularly - kind of depends on time, inspiration and my computer working with me instead of against me (it does both in equal measures). For some reason I'm dead set on writing something looong but hopefully interesting, and since I always play the nice girl/guy paragon in ME, I figure I'd try my hand with a renegade here.

A quick view of the premise:

This story is based on an EC destroy ending, which means the mass relays were damaged, not destroyed. I'm making the assumption that most if not all were repaired along with other major locations, such as the Citadel, now in Earth's orbit. It has taken years and technological advancements have stalled as a result, but the galaxy is now starting to look somewhat like its old self again pre-Reaper invasion. I'm assuming that the Council survived along with other major or minor characters which will be featured later.

Rated M for language, sex and violence.

**Part One**

**Preface**

The image on the holo-screen against the window in Liara T'Soni's office in Nos Astra spaceport was shimmering slightly with interference but Liara could still make out the Admiral's reluctant expression as she waited for him to answer her question.

"She's… different" Kaidan Alenko finally answered. Liara furrowed her brow slightly. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Kaidan averted his eyes for a moment with a somewhat contemplative look. Liara stared at him and waited for him to continue. "She's… unconventional" he finally replied with a hint of a smile.

Liara narrowed her eyes and looked down at the datapad in her hand. "I can read, Admiral. I called you to get a sense of her personality beyond what my intel shows me" she said, slightly exasperated with these obvious attempts at avoiding to answer her questions.

Kaidan cleared his throat. "I know you want me to say she's like Shepard…" he started and then paused to lick his lips while he seemed to be pondering how to finish his sentence. "But she's not" he then finished.

Liara took a deep breath and resisted an urge to roll her eyes at him. "You can do better than that, Kaidan. What is she _like_?" Kaidan smiled. "She's exactly like what it says in her files" he replied.

Liara closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. _Come on, Kaidan!_ She opened her eyes again and gave him a slightly mocking smile. "Admiral Alenko, you have asked me to go on this mission, and I need to know who will lead it. If you don't tell me there's a very good chance I might say no, and I also might strongly reconsider helping the Alliance with intel in the future" she replied warningly.

Kaidan studied her for a moment with his eyes slightly narrowed. He then broke into a small sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry Liara. She's my captain and if the Council found out I was giving information about Alliance soldiers to the Shadow Broker…". Kaidan didn't finish but just gave her a small pout after his words.

Liara clenched her jaw and flared her nostrils, while she felt her face heat up with anger. "Fine. I'm not going!" she replied heatedly. She was about to break the transmission when Kaidan then raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Alright, wait Liara. Miranda… knows her. She's here at the Citadel and can be on Illium tomorrow"

Liara sighed and then nodded before she gave Kaidan a pensive look. "Is she at least a little bit like Shepard?" she asked. Kaidan grinned at her and then gave her a wink before he broke the transmission.

Liara walked over to her chair with a resigned shake of her head and placed the datapad on the desk before she studied the image in the top-left corner.  
>The Captain had hazel eyes and dark hair and was wearing a lop-sided grin that made her look both arrogant and charming at the same time. Liara had read extensively about the Captain's history in advance and she had to admit that she was not pleased.<p>

This young Captain was seemingly hot-tempered, overly ambitious and unsympathetic bordering on downright cruel to her enemies, but there was something about her that Liara could not quite put into words and Kaidan certainly seemed to trust her, regardless of his personal feelings which Liara suspected were not exactly doting.

The Captain apparently also seemed to be an incorrigible womanizer and Liara's intel showed that she had been intimate with a vast number of especially asari all around the galaxy. She had to admit however that the Captain certainly had a talent for getting the job done, even if her methods differed greatly from those Shepard had employed. _I could really have used you now, Shepard_. Liara sighed and put the datapad in her bag before she rolled her chair around to look out at Nos Astra spaceport.

She remembered when Shepard had first come to see her in her office and had been surprised at how much Liara had changed. Shepard had not changed however and she never did, and Liara had loved that about her. Even in her final days when she had been under severe stress and suffered from sleep-deprivation she had still managed to give a smile and even a comforting word now and then to everyone she deemed needed it.

After it had been confirmed that Shepard had died at the Citadel after having activated the Catalyst, Liara had immediately sought out Kaidan to try and offer him whatever comfort she could and he had ended up crying in her lap, while she had listened to him repeating over and over that it should have been him instead of Shepard. Liara had not been able to hold back her own tears at the heartbroken expression of Shepard's faithful companion and lover and had ended up staying with him for few days, before she had finally been forced to return to Illium to resume her duties as Shadow Broker.

The painful memory of her old friend did not help lift her tension about going on this mission, and she decided to fetch the datapad from her bag again and have another look at this new person in charge, trying to put a word on that something she had noticed before to reassure herself that going on a new mission 22 years after the Reapers, and Shepard, had died was not something she was going to regret.

She could certainly see how those hazel eyes might be compelling to young asari and human women who shared her orientation and Liara wondered just how much of an effort it actually took this captain to repeatedly lure these women into her bed. _She probably just gives them that lop-sided grin_. Liara had not been in love with anyone since Shepard, and those feelings had relatively quickly subsided in place of a strong attachment and friendly affections, making Liara wonder if she had in fact been in love with Shepard at all. _I wonder if these girls fall in love with this Captain_. Liara hoped for their sake that they didn't, since it seemed quite evident that the captain hardly even remembered them after they parted ways.

She then wondered how she would react if the Captain would threaten an enemy with killing them or just down-right do it because she knew she could, and furrowed her brow with concern at the thought. She had read that the Captain had shot enemies in the back to keep them from escaping and had once choked a batarian until he blacked out, and she wondered whether any of the soldiers in the Captain's platoon had ever wanted to stop her. _Would I have stopped her?_ She had threatened people herself many times in the past, but she had never actually acted on her words as it had not been necessary. People knew who she was after the war with the Reapers, even if they did not know she was the Shadow Broker, and they knew her biotic powers were not something they should think about casually.

Liara then fetched another datapad from her drawer and studied it. The image was blurry and the datapad had very little details on it. She held it up next to the Captain's and took a deep breath. _I really hope you can do this…_

**Azure**

"You can go now" she said casually as she leaned in over the nightstand to get a better look at the datapad situated on it. She lit a cigarette and waited for the sound of bed-sheets being lifted, but after a few seconds of silence she made a half-turn and gave the naked asari next to her a look that meant business.  
>The asari immediately rose and went to fetch her clothes from the floor.<p>

She turned again and studied the contents of the datapad more closely, narrowing her eyes. 'Liara T'Soni' the headline read. An image of the so-called Shadow Broker filled a quarter of the display and the rest of it was just the usual non-classified stuff which she had already read before in other files. _The Shadow Broker, huh?_

She lifted her eyes as she suddenly spied blue legs settling in front of her. The look on the asari's face was a strange mix of disappointment and puzzlement. _What did she expect?_ "I... had a good time" the asari said hesitantly. She couldn't help but break into a grin before she lowered her eyes again to the datapad. "Mmm" she replied and tilted her head in the direction of the door silently telling the asari to leave. The asari immediately did as she was asked, and slammed the door behind her.

She left the datapad on the nightstand and leaned back against the pillow before she took a long puff of the cigarette, coughing a little as she exhaled. She only allowed herself one after sex, and it had been a while since she had last fucked someone. She tried to remember the face of the one before the last, but gave up after a few seconds. She only remembered that it had been another asari and guessed that she had probably looked a lot like the one she had just told to leave. They all looked the same. She put the cigarette in the ash-tray and rose to go look out at the sky-line of Nos Astra. The window was open and she felt goosebumps on her naked skin as she took in the view.

The flickering lights and outlines of tall buildings against the starry night looked exactly the same as everywhere else, and she once again hoped that she would not have to stay on this planet a minute longer than she needed to. She peered down as she noticed a skycar landing outside in front of the entrance to the hotel. Two asari, a male turian and a male human exited. The male human had his hand firmly placed on one of the asari's left buttock, while the asari giggled at him and threw an arm around his neck. He was balding and fat and obviously severely drunk. She winced at how disgusting he must look naked and then quickly closed the window and returned to the bed.

The large tv-screen was still showing images of dancing, half-naked asari and she immediately told it to turn off before she then turned and spied something purple in between the sheets, realizing that the asari had forgotten her underwear. _Did she leave that here on purpose?_ She threw the tiny g-string off the bed and took another puff of the cigarette before she stubbed it. She then picked up the datapad again and studied Liara T'Soni's image again. _She's pretty, I'll give her that_.

She examined the image more closely and wondered how she would be able to persuade the Shadow Broker of all people to accompany her. _Why the fuck didn't the Admiral do this himself?_ She sighed and shook her head with exasperation at why she had to waste her precious time playing nice with some elevated asari cunt when she was already fairly certain that she couldn't trust her and didn't want her along at all. She knew the Admiral was old friends with T'Soni, but had not managed to get a reasonable explanation out of him as to why he couldn't just persuade her to come along from the cozy confines of his office at the Citadel, and instead had sent his captain all the way to Illium to fetch her. He had muttered something about T'Soni needing to see her for herself, but she had not been able to get him to clarify that properly and had then given up and just nodded her head trying to hide her irritation. She put the datapad away and closed her eyes before she told the security-system to turn the lights off.

The next morning as she exited hotel Azure she was almost knocked over by the same fat man she had seen the night before. He was apparently still heavily drunk and gave her a half-hearted salute and then looked her up and down before he staggered over to hail a cab. She glowered at him before she examined her uniform to see if he had creased her press-folds. Two asari walked by her and one gave her a wink and her card before they followed the fat man into the cab. She shook her head with disgust and proceeded to the taxi-stand as she watched the car take to the sky. She threw the card into a small bush before she pressed the button to signal another cab. Within seconds one appeared and opened its doors for her to enter. She inhaled deeply as she placed herself next to the asari-taxidriver and gave her directions. _Here goes nothing._  
><strong><br>Nos Astra**

"Captain Caroline Taylor Hayes, aged 32, N7 graduate" Liara T'Soni said monotonously and then peered up from her monitors to look at her before she continued. "Enjoy your stay at Azure?" she asked unsmiling. Taylor gave a small smile at that but quickly raised her eyes and kept them fixed on the windows behind Liara overlooking the trading-floor of Nos Astra spaceport. It didn't surprise her that Liara already knew; she was the Shadow Broker after all.

"I did" she replied casually and kept a half-smirk on her face as her eyes lowered again to meet the Shadow Broker's. Liara didn't smile however, and immediately averted her eyes. Taylor felt her smirk wanting to turn into a grin but managed to suppress it by biting her lip. _I think she likes me already._

"And this Mr. Crow, what do you know about him?" Liara asked without looking at her. "Probably less than you do" Taylor answered while she studied Liara's face. _The image on that datapad didn't do you justice, Shadow Broker._

Liara raised her eyes and gave her a long look before she spoke. "Probably, but I'd still like to know just the same" she replied coolly. Her expression was somewhat stern as she leaned back in her chair with her arms across her chest. Taylor nodded and sat down on the chair opposite her desk.

"He has 'restarted' Cerberus. He's in his late forties, but was already high in Cerberus ranks before the Illusive Man died 22 years ago. He supposedly worked on the Lazarus project and there are speculations as to whether he took a sample of Commander Shepard's DNA with him after the project finished" she replied. She could see Liara's expression turning slightly sad at the mention of Shepard, but ignored it and continued. "This is due to the fact that there have been several sightings around the galaxy of people closely resembling Commander Shepard, and Admiral Alenko has assigned me to investigate". The words were almost a direct quote of the written brief she had received from the Admiral two days before, and she had deliberately memorized it as she had already suspected that Liara T'Soni might test her.

Liara rested her chin in her hand and stared blankly at her desk. "And he wants me to accompany you…" she said ponderously. "Yes" Taylor replied and wondered just how much of a song and dance she would have to do, before Liara would agree to help her. Liara sighed and rose from her chair. She turned around to peer out the windows but lowered her head after a second.

"Who else is coming?" she asked quietly. "Ex-Operative Lawson and a small platoon of the Alliance's special forces" Taylor replied. She was getting impatient. _Fuck you Admiral!_ "I want Garrus Vakarian with us" Liara said as she turned to face her. The look in her eyes was insistent and Taylor took a deep breath before she spoke. "General Vakarian is not part of the Alliance and the Admiral has not asked for him" she replied calmly. Liara gave a slightly scornful smile as she sat down again. "Neither am I, but you need me and I need Garrus" The stare that followed her words reminded Taylor of how powerful a biotic she had been and probably still was. Taylor returned Liara's stare but sensed that she would probably get her way no matter what and then gave a small nod.

"All right, I'll ask the Admiral but I can't make any promises" Taylor finally replied, not even trying to mask her exasperation with this request. "No need" Liara said and punched some numbers on her omni-tool. "I'll check with the Admiral myself. You can go now Captain Hayes" she said and waved Taylor out.

The Eternity Lounge was not entirely void of people despite the fact that it was still early in the afternoon. Taylor ordered some coffee and sat down at a table next to the bar wondering how long she would have to wait like an idiot before the Admiral finally contacted her and told her that he had granted T'Soni's request.

She spied a couple of asari entering the lounge and guessed that they were dancers coming in to work. One of them was cute and Taylor gave her a smile and a long look before she turned her head to take another sip of her coffee. _Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to wait another day_. She had been away on tour for the past two months and had hardly even had time to unpack before the Admiral had contacted her and immediately instructed her to go to Illium. He had been reluctant to give all the details at first, but Taylor had eventually managed to coax him into telling her what she believed to be at least most of the story. It was then that she had found out that Commander Shepard's former squad-mate and close friend was in fact the Shadow Broker. She had been surprised but had managed to keep a straight face, and now she would have to team up with her and probably Vakarian too –another close friend of Shepard's. _To go hunt for clones of your dead girlfriend Admiral_.

She shook her head despondently as she finished her coffee and then turned to watch an asari waitress clean the bar. She was young, Taylor estimated. Probably only about a hundred, but cute. Taylor approached the bar and placed the empty cup on it. She caught the asari's eyes as she took it and gave her a smirk. The asari blushed a little and hesitantly smiled back at her. _Yeah another day will be just fine._

She got her wish as she didn't hear from neither Liara T'Soni nor the Admiral and thus wound up spending most of her day in the Eternity Lounge drinking with various other patrons and soldiers and hitting on asari dancers. She got a lap-dance from one of them while some human privates at the next table hollered at them approvingly. The asari leaned in and licked her earlobe before she whispered if there was some place they could go, and she ended up fucking her for hours in her small room in Azure, which she had retained after she had found out that she had to wait for the Admiral to make his decision.

As with the previous many ones she had brought back for a one-night stand over the past few years she threw her out afterwards without knowing her name. She didn't want to know their names. Almost all of them tried to give her their names, but she purposely ignored them and instead focused on undressing them with her eyes.

She rose after she heard the door closing and went to the bathroom. _God damn it!_ Her reflection in the mirror revealed a small, but noticeable hickey on her neck. She closed her eyes and shook her head, infuriated with herself that she had let this happen. She soon realized however that it didn't matter much as she had remembered to pack a small case of make-up, which thankfully contained a concealer.

She left the bathroom and lit a cigarette from the pack and slowly inhaled as she watched the asari dancers on the screen opposite the bed. She wondered briefly if she had fucked one of them but doubted it. One of them resembled Liara T'Soni and she smiled as she watched the Liara-lookalike swaying half-naked on the screen with a lustful look in her eyes. _This is going to be an interesting mission._


	2. Chapter 2

**The Particle **

The SSV Particle was supposedly an upgraded version of the Normandy SR-II but Taylor had not been able find anything in the specifications to support this, and couldn't help but think that Shepard's old ship had probably just been given an overhaul and christened anew. She had seen holo's of the ship before but found her immensely beautiful nonetheless as she stood there in all her glory in the large hangar outside Nos Astra spaceport. The Alliance had had help from asari engineers to finish her which was why she still remained on this planet.

Their pilot was called Stromberg and he was a balding gangly guy in his late twenties with a timid look on his face. Taylor didn't think much of him as he stood there and flickered his eyes around nervously explaining the blue-prints of the ship with a slight stutter, but the Admiral had recommended him and she hoped that he would at least be calm around the controls.

She figured it was probably a good thing that the Admiral had sent her to Illium, since she then had the chance to see the Particle take its maiden voyage with herself on the bridge where she belonged. She glanced behind her for a moment at Liara T'Soni who was wearing a slightly impatient look on her face as she took in the view of the ship. _Two birds with one stone_. The Admiral had contacted Taylor that morning and told her to meet T'Soni at the hangar. They would have to go pick up Vakarian on Palaven and Miranda Lawson at the Citadel before they could proceed with the mission.

"Alright thanks Stromberg" Taylor said and noticed the pilot becoming visibly relieved after he had been allowed to go. They went inside and Taylor nodded at the saluting crew-men and soldiers as she followed Stromberg up to the bridge. A few minutes later the engines of the SSV Particle gave a small hum as the clasps docking the ship released and she slowly drifted backwards and turned before she took to the sky.

Taylor gave Stromberg a few quick instructions before she headed for the elevator. On her way she saw Lieutenant Palmer and raised two fingers at him to signal how many she had managed to sleep with before they left Illium. It was their private little joke. The Lieutenant gave her a thumbs-up before he raised three fingers. _He's a goddamn liar! _She smiled and shook her head unbelieving before she pushed the button to the elevator.

The Lieutenant was a good-looking guy in his late twenties and they had quickly formed a friendship over their mutual interest in asari. He had tried to hit on her before she had told him that he _definitely_ was not her type, and that she furthermore was his captain and superior officer. He had quickly apologized and given her a firm salute but a smirk had remained on his lips and soon after they had started to help each other pick up women whenever they were on shore-leave. He had not been around the night before but Taylor was perfectly capable of luring unsuspecting cute asari into her bed by herself.

If she had to put a word to her own looks it would be pretty. She was lean and muscular and had hazel eyes and shoulder-long dark hair which she usually kept down. She was charismatic and confident, but her best quality was that she was thoroughly charming, at least when she wanted to be, and she used this quality whenever she could, especially, of course, when she was on shore-leave. She knew that some of the soldiers found her intimidating, and she had a stare that could burn holes through the confidence of any man, but her men respected her nonetheless and she knew she was a good soldier.

She quickly threw her bags in her cabin on deck one before took the elevator down to deck three and went to cautiously knock on the door to the XO office. She knew Liara T'Soni had gone there when they took off as this was supposedly where she had stayed in the Normandy SR-II during Commander Shepard's mission against the Reapers. Liara beckoned her in from inside and she thus pushed the green entry-button.

The XO office was approximately the same in size as the captain's cabin, but looked somehow much less inviting. There were monitors covering the entire right wall with a desk in front of it, and the wall opposite consisted of various terminals. At the far side of the room was a bed with a nightstand, where Liara had left some clothes and a stack of datapads.

"Are you settling in?" Taylor asked. Liara was already seated at her desk looking at a monitor with a blurred image of Mr. Crow. "Yes, fine thank you" she replied, not removing her eyes. "Good" Taylor said and leaned in to look at a terminal next to the door. She jumped when she suddenly spied a holo-drone approaching her. It was round and seemed to be turning in the air.

"Hello Captain Hayes. Nice to meet you" it said as it hovered in front of her face. "Who are you?" Taylor asked puzzled. "My name is Glyph. I am Dr. T'Soni's assistant" the drone answered. Taylor carefully lifted a finger to poke the drone but jerked her hand back as she felt a small electrical surge when she tried to touch it.

"Glyph doesn't like to be touched" Liara remarked casually from her chair as she turned to watch them. "But you may attempt to charm him all you like. Maybe you will have just as much luck as you do with asari dancers and waitresses" she added.

Taylor felt a smirk on her lips as she glanced over to look at Liara. _She's done her homework well_. She sensed that the remark was not just in reference to the previous two nights in Azure. Liara probably knew her whole history; every single encounter with every single woman as well as her achievements in her military career and every single enemy she had killed. _She probably even knows my shoe-size_.

Taylor let her smirk fade before she turned to Glyph again. "Sorry Glyph" she said, finding it odd to talk to a drone. "No need to apologize, Captain" Glyph replied and then hovered over next to Liara. Liara had turned to face the monitor again and Taylor sensed that the polite thing to do would be to remove herself. "Dr. T'Soni" she said and nodded in Liara's direction. "Captain Hayes" Liara replied monotonously with her eyes fixed on a datapad in front of her. Taylor clenched her jaw and turned to exit the XO office. _This better be worth it._

She went to make a pot of coffee in the mess hall and watched the chef and crewmen unpack the last of their provisions. It was standard, boring military-fare and Taylor felt suddenly appreciative that the Admiral had waited to contact her, giving her the chance to enjoy some proper food for once. She narrowed her eyes to look at a can of fish-soup and wondered about its origins, when she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Can I have a cup of that?" She turned and saw Miranda wearing a half-smile. "Sure" Taylor replied and turned to watch if the coffee-machine was done brewing. She took two cups from the kitchen-cabinets and waited for the last droplets to make their way into the bowl, while she turned again to look at Miranda. The former Cerberus Operative was still a gorgeous woman despite the fact that she was in her mid-fifties, and Taylor knew she wasn't the only one who had noticed this. The longing looks and less than discrete comments from the soldiers in her platoon were evidence to that.

Miranda had accompanied Taylor's platoon on a mission a while back after she had received and then passed on intel to the Alliance about a facility on an uncharted planet which had previously housed Cerberus activities. When they arrived the facility had been empty, but they found evidence that a group of scientists had recently worked on various methods of cloning and discovered several samples of DNA. These were later identified as belonging to a man named Jack Harper.

They had followed the trail of the scientists first to another cloning-facility, where they found two scientists with bullet-holes in their heads, and then to the Krogan DMZ, where they had unfortunately lost the trail and had to declare the mission incomplete. Among the possessions of one of those dead scientist's they had however found a datapad with information on a certain Mr. Crow. The datapad had a blurred image and very sparse details on it and Taylor had sent it to the Alliance and then given a full report to the Admiral, when they had returned to the Citadel.

She remembered that he had looked unusually concerned when she had mentioned the name Jack Harper, and he had then told her that the Alliance believed that to having been the true identity of the Illusive Man himself. He had told her to wait for further instructions with a grave look on his face and then given her a new assignment and immediately dismissed her. She had left his office with a mixed feeling of anticipation and apprehension, and had quickly found an asari in the Purgatory bar to take her mind of it.

Miranda had been insistent about accompanying Taylor's platoon and Taylor had initially resented it and complained to the Admiral, but he had cut her off with a wave of his hand and told her in his most polite manner to just deal with it. Her feelings had changed during the course of the mission however when she had realized how much she in fact had in common with this former high-ranking Cerberus Operative. They were both straight-to-business, no bullshit leaders and had slowly formed a kind of friendship during the mission and had stayed in touch ever since.

"What are you doing here? The Admiral told me to pick you up at the Citadel" Taylor asked, while she took the pot and poured. "I came yesterday in the afternoon" Miranda replied while she accepted the cup of steaming coffee and took a careful sip before she spoke again. "Liara requested to see me before we took off" she added. Taylor slightly furrowed her brow. "T'Soni? Why?" she asked while she poured a cup for herself.

Miranda smiled. "To learn about you, of course" she replied knowingly.

Taylor raised her eye-brows in complete bafflement. _What the fuck?_ "What… did she want to know?" Taylor asked hesitantly.

Miranda gave a small chuckle at her expression and put the cup on the kitchen-counter "She told me she had been contacted by the Admiral and asked to go on this mission. She already knew that you and I have worked together before and she wanted to know more about you" Miranda replied as she put her arms across her chest and leaned back against the counter. "I don't think she's too impressed with some aspects of your history" she added with a smirk.

Taylor remembered the expression on Liara's face after she had confirmed that she had enjoyed her stay at Azure and involuntarily grinned. She quickly raised the coffee-cup to her lips to try and suppress it, but Miranda noticed it anyway. "Don't worry about it. She might be the Shadow Broker but in her mind the heroes are all like Shepard. Honor, duty and one guy for life." she said with a smile.

Taylor shook her head slightly and let her grin fade before she took another sip of her coffee. She had heard about Commander Shepard almost her whole life. Her father, who had also been a military man, had tried to make Shepard a role model for her since she was seven years old, and since the early days of her career she had often been told by various people that she reminded them of Shepard and she had initially always felt extremely flattered.

Somewhere down the line she had begun to get sick to death of it however and always cut people off when they tried to pay her that, in their view, enormous compliment. She knew Miranda had respected Shepard and Taylor admired her for her achievements as well. _Who wouldn't? _She knew however that she was nothing like Shepard and didn't want to be.

"Exactly which parts of my history does she disapprove of?" Taylor asked, slightly annoyed by this fresh reminder that everybody apparently wanted her to be Shepard's replacement.

"Oh, I don't' know. Maybe the time you coerced a batarian pirate into confessing a raid on a human colony at gunpoint. Or perhaps the time you shot an unarmed member of the Blue Suns in the back to keep him from escaping." Miranda said innocently.

Taylor felt her annoyance turn to anger. "That pirate was not going to confess any other way, and that so-called unarmed member of the Blue Suns had just killed one of my privates. The only reason they didn't find a gun on him was because he tossed it just before I shot him!" she replied heatedly.

Miranda raised her hands in a calming gesture and took a step closer. "I know, Taylor. I tried to tell Liara just that, but she's not quick to trust" she said with a small smile.

Taylor shook her head still slightly irritated. The reports were always bullshit. The Admiral himself had applauded her for both those actions and even promoted her for the first, but that didn't change the way it looked in writing. It didn't matter, though. She knew she had done the right thing in both instances.

Taylor calmed herself with a long sip of her coffee and then looked at Miranda. "Why didn't you contact me yesterday?" she asked. "I had dinner with Liara at her apartment. I thought about calling you afterwards, but I figured you might be… busy" Miranda replied with a knowing smile. Taylor grinned. _My favorite pass-time_. "I was" she replied while images of her latest asari's orgasmic face appeared before her. "I guess the Shadow Broker is not too impressed with that part either is she?" she asked after the memory faded. Miranda smile widened. "Oh, I think she's very impressed. Most people would be" she replied sarcastically.

Taylor nodded her head and chuckled. Her eyes then went to a can of Thessian oysters on the counter behind Miranda's cup and she instantly felt a smirk on her lips. "So her intel basically says that I'm a whoring scoundrel" she said reflectively while she stared at the slightly parted oyster-shell on the label. Miranda laughed while she picked up her cup and brought it to her lips. "Yes and you are, but you make damned good coffee" she replied after a long sip.

Taylor poured another cup before she excused herself and headed for the elevator. On her way up to her cabin she pondered how difficult it might get to complete this mission successfully if Liara T'Soni already not only disliked her but also distrusted her and she hoped that the Shadow Broker was at least professional enough to keep her personal feelings from interfering with their collaboration. She had worked with and alongside several people in the past whom she suspected had disliked her, but most of them had also been too intimated by her to share their feelings; at least to her face. She somehow sensed however that Liara T'Soni was not one of them, and although she didn't really care what the Shadow Broker might think of her, she was painfully aware that it could become somewhat problematic being at odds with Liara T'Soni due to her close relationship with the Admiral.

The captain's cabin was slightly larger than what she had been used to on her past tours and she liked the cozy feel of it with the large, though empty, fish-tank and the small couch and coffee-table just opposite the bed.

She checked her private terminal and saw that the Admiral had sent her a message saying that they should head to the Citadel immediately after they had fetched Garrus Vakarian on Palaven, but failed to mention why.

Taylor closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, infuriated. The Admiral always kept her in the dark. After the first few times it had happened she had asked him point blank if he didn't trust her, to which he had replied that he had full confidence in her and her abilities, but that he had his reasons not to share too much. She had felt an instinct to roll her eyes at that, but managed to stop herself. She had tried to accept his stance, but every now and then she found that she simply needed additional info before she risked her life at his orders, and had once told him exactly that while she had dug her fingernails into her palm to suppress an urge to lunge at him. He had given her a long look and then somewhat reluctantly complied, but had soon returned to his usual habit of telling her as little as possible.

Her relationship with the Admiral was complicated at best. She respected him for his achievements and his rank, but she didn't like him much, and she was convinced that the feeling was mutual. Kaidan Alenko had suffered from severe PTSD following Commander Shepard's death and had turned to drinking and using Red Sand in the months following the defeat of the Reapers. Alliance brass had eventually interfered and successfully managed to get him cleaned up, but the experience had left him a cold and bitter man, completely devoid of any sense of humor.

According to Miranda the Admiral had been a charming, lighthearted and somewhat sensitive guy in the old days, but losing Shepard had changed him completely and the smile he had always been quick to give had changed into a constant frown. He was still polite whenever he spoke to Taylor, but she always had the feeling that he secretly hated her and everyone else for being alive, while the love of his life was dead. She was also confident that he had never touched another woman since.

She replied to the e-mail with only the word 'understood' before she sent it and went over to change into more casual clothes. She liked her dress-uniform and knew she looked good in it, but it was also slightly uncomfortable and she hated always having to watch her press-folds. She chose her skin-tight black N7 t-shirt and a pair of jeans and checked herself in the small mirror in the adjoining bathroom before she left the cabin and headed for the elevator.

They would hit Palaven early the next day and Taylor decided to use the time to do what she always did when starting a mission, which was to check on her crew. She carefully went through all of the four remaining levels and greeted and checked on every single person, making small-talk here and there and making sure that everyone knew who she was and remembered to salute her when necessary. She needed to know the faces of the people she could potentially send to their deaths and the crew in turn needed to know who they fought for and why. She might be a whoring scoundrel, but she knew she was a good leader and that she had earned her rank.

By the time she was done it was past dinner-time and she decided to invite Miranda up to her cabin for drinks and catching-up on past events. They slowly emptied a bottle and a half of red wine while they shared stories about mainly work, but the conversation eventually settled on the, in Taylor's mind, much more interesting subject of the Shadow Broker.

Miranda told her the full story about how Liara T'Soni and Commander Shepard had stormed the old Shadow Brokers ship on Hagalasz and how T'Soni had then assumed the role of the new Shadow Broker and taken over the ship, before Cerberus had later attacked and forced her to abandon it. She also told Taylor that despite T'Soni's laid-back and somewhat reserved personality, she was not a person to be trifled with and certainly not someone Taylor should ever hope to get in her bed.

Taylor had chuckled and assured Miranda that she had no intentions of anything of the sort and then reminded her that she preferred her asari nameless and her encounters with them brief. She had then accused Miranda of calling the kettle black as she knew that Miranda was almost as bad as herself in that respect. Miranda preferred men however, which had disappointed Taylor slightly in the beginning but she had soon begun to understand and appreciate that she had twin of sorts in Miranda who didn't judge her casual approach to sex and applauded her attitude towards getting the job done no matter the cost.

Around midnight she bid Miranda goodnight and she finished her wine and then told the stereo to play something soothing while she got undressed. Just before she closed her eyes to go to sleep an image of Liara T'Soni appeared before her and she involuntarily smirked.

The next morning she got up early and immediately went to the mess hall to make a pot of coffee. The ship had not yet started buzzing, but it wouldn't be long before the crew-men would start appearing from their quarters with wide yawns and messy hair. She found a small pack of crackers and opened it while she waited for the coffee to be done brewing.

She was somehow nervous about recruiting General Garrus Vakarian, but didn't exactly know why. She had looked up his service-record in advance and found the contents thoroughly impressive, but it wasn't his achievements and his rank that made her anxious. She suspected that the real reason she was uneasy about this was because of his close relationship with both the Admiral and Liara T'Soni. _My two best friends… _She chuckled a bit and then spied Lieutenant Palmer approaching her.

"Captain" he said and gave her a salute before he settled himself beside her. "How was the Eternity Lounge?" he asked and gave her a wink.

"Interesting" Taylor replied with slight smirk. She liked Palmer and she appreciated hunting with him, but she had never been entirely comfortable sharing the details of her sex life, and usually left him to guess the particulars.

"I'm sorry I couldn't join you, but uh… I had trouble walking from the night before" he replied casually. Taylor shook her head with a smile. _Lying bastard! _"So how many times?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Taylor hesitated and quickly glanced around the room to make sure they were alone before she answered. "Three" she replied quietly.

Palmer looked up at her and then gave her a lop-sided grin. "Impressive" He said and then studied her expression while he poured a cup for her. She had embellished a bit on that number, but she knew that he always did the same and thus kept her face impassive.

She chewed another cracker and took a sip of her coffee as she watched crew-men slowly emerging from the quarters and scurrying around the mess hall. Liara T'Soni had also just appeared from her office and was on her way over to pour herself a cup of coffee. Lieutenant Palmer stepped aside for her and then looked her up and down before he walked over to Taylor and leaned in to her ear. "There's your next project. Maybe you should see if you can't make her come four times and break your record" he said in a half-whisper.

Taylor immediately flared her nostrils with rage and complete disbelief that her Lieutenant would say something like this when the Shadow Broker was a mere five feet away and might easily have overheard him. Before she could reprimand him however he had already walked past her and she made a half-turn to glower at him before she turned again to face Liara. Liara had quickly glanced in their direction when Palmer had spoken, but she couldn't tell from her expression if she had actually heard what he had said.

_Stupid, fucking asshole! _She took a deep breath and hoped that her anger did not appear as a flush on her cheeks. "Dr. T'soni" she muttered with a nod. Liara took a sip of her coffee and then stared blankly at the kitchen cabinets above the coffee-machine for a second, before she then glanced at Taylor with a nod and quickly turned to go over to sit by a table. Taylor sighed and watched her a moment before she immediately headed to the cargo hold to give Lieutenant Palmer the lecture of a lifetime.


	3. Chapter 3

**Palaven**

The Turian Army headquarters was a large blue stone-building with strange ornaments, that were probably meant to be artistic but came off somewhat frightening nonetheless. Taylor stopped for a moment and looked at the slightly sneering face of some famous Turian war-waro carved into the building immediately to the left of the entrance. She wondered for a moment what the humans must have thought when they had faced an army of this rather scary-looking race in the First Contact War. _I respect them, but they're certainly not pretty. _

Taylor's grandfather had fought in the First Contact War, and she remembered from her visits to Earth as a child that he liked to brag about how many of those tentacled monsters he had killed before those dopes of the Alliance brass had decided to admit defeat to the Council as he would put it. Her grandparents still resided on Earth and Taylor had the impression that they would not for one minute deign themselves to set foot on another planet, which hadn't officially been declared a human colony. Her grandfather had respected Shepard as well even if he thought she had been somewhat of a bleeding heart xenophiliac, the way she had deliberately surrounded herself with all kinds of 'filthy monstrous aliens'.

She continued up the stairs and into a long corridor where she was greeted by a couple of heavily armed guards and scanned by their omni-tools. When they were satisfied as to her lack of weaponry and had cleared her status as captain with the Alliance, one of them bid her follow him to an adjoining office.

Inside Garrus Vakarian was leaning over his desk with his back to her flanked by another two armed guards. "Captain Hayes" he said without turning. Taylor looked at the guards and saw that they were slowly raising their guns at her. "No need for that, boys" Garrus said and then turned to face her. The guards lowered their guns again while Garrus Vakarian gave her a long stare. He looked exactly the same as his image on the datapad she had received from Liara T'Soni, but this did not surprise her; turians did not age noticeably the same way humans did. "General Vakarian" she said and nodded in his direction. She had wondered briefly if she should salute him, but they were not of the same army and as long as she didn't fall under his command, they both knew that she was obligated to give him a salute.

"I understand you need me for a mission" Garrus said calmly. Taylor gave another nod and wondered how much he already knew. "I have been informed of the basics by our mutual friend Dr. T'Soni" he continued and leaned back against his desk. Taylor wanted to smile at that but stopped herself. _Our mutual friend indeed. _She didn't reply but simply waited patiently for him to confirm or deny his willingness to come along. He stared at her for a while, and Taylor sensed that he was trying to read her character, probably to determine how much she differed from or resembled Commander Shepard. She returned his stare with a hint of smile on her face. _Is he ever going to say something? _

"I'll gladly go with you, but only if I get to calibrate the guns" Garrus said. Taylor couldn't help but grin at this remark. She knew Garrus Vakarian had made the Main Battery his favorite hide-out during his missions with Shepard against first the Collectors and then the Reapers. She also knew that he was exceptionally skilled with a sniper rifle and had read in the reports she had received from both the Admiral and Liara T'Soni that he still honed this skill on a daily basis.

"I wouldn't want anyone else near my guns, General Vakarian" Taylor replied. She suddenly realized the slightly insinuating connotation of this response and quickly let her grin fade as to not give Garrus any ideas. Garrus cleared his throat and glanced nervously around the room for a moment, but he then composed himself and gave her a small nod. "Thank you Captain Hayes. I'm honored to be aboard" he said and then gave her a salute. Taylor gave him a small smile and then shook her head slightly. "You are a General and not a member of my platoon. There's no need to salute me and my name is Taylor" she replied somberly. Garrus slowly lowered his hand and gave her a long somewhat scrutinizing look. Taylor sensed that he was not entirely comfortable with this rather unusual dispense with formality, and had probably not experienced anything like it since his days with Shepard, and Taylor knew that even she had preferred people calling her by her last name if they were not obligated to call her Commander.

"Taylor then…" he replied quietly. He extended his hand to her and Taylor shook it and felt suddenly immensely appreciative that the Shadow Broker had insisted on bringing him along. She also somehow sensed that she could come to like this aging turian. _I just hope T'Soni hasn't told him everything. _She was positive that this was a long shot however. Liara T'Soni and Garrus Vakarian were old, close friends and she instinctively knew that the Shadow Broker had contacted him after their meeting at her office and given him all the information on their new captain. She just hoped Vakarian would judge her based on his own impressions and not on the hear-say and bogus reports from the contacts of his so-called friend.

She followed Garrus outside to the Particle and watched him stop for a moment to take in the full view of the ship. She settled herself beside him and watched his awed expression for a moment. "She's… breathtaking" Garrus said with an utterly enchanted look on his face. "Yes, I can see that" Taylor replied with a grin as Garrus obviously seemed to have difficulty breathing out of complete fascination with this marvelous vessel. Garrus turned to look at her and then chuckled. "I can't wait to see what her guns are like" he remarked and then gave Taylor a wink before he approached the air lock. Taylor grinned and shook her head before she followed him to the Particle.

Garrus was immediately stopped when he entered by Miranda and Liara T'Soni and was not allowed to retreat to the Main Battery before he had given them both a hug and assured them that he was fine and excited to go on a new mission with his old friends. Taylor watched their little reunion for a moment but quickly turned and headed in the direction of the bridge when Liara caught her eyes. She was still somewhat mortified by Palmer's remark earlier that day, but since she couldn't be sure that Liara had in fact overheard him, it wasn't that careless remark which made Taylor avert her eyes. She did not trust the Shadow Broker and was not at all happy that the Admiral had insisted she bring her along.

She was beginning to accept however that having her with them was a severe bonus to the mission and she thus let out a long sigh before she placed a hand on the head-rest of Stromberg's seat. She gave Stromberg the order to immediately set the course for the Citadel and then retreated to her cabin to look over the latest intel from the Shadow Broker. The sightings of possible Shepard-clones seemed to be exploding in numbers, and Taylor sighed at what a ridiculous waste of time it was to make a stop at the Citadel first when people's lives were obviously at risk at this very moment. She felt an urge to smoke a cigarette but managed to suppress it and instead decided to make it an early night with some random entertaining vids and some decaf coffee. She fell asleep watching the latest Blasto-movie and didn't wake until the VI told her in its usual mechanical voice that it was time to get up.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Citadel**

The Admiral gave her a long examining look after she had arrived in his office and greeted him with a salute. He looked considerably older than his 56 years with his grey hair, wrinkles and receding hair-line, but Taylor suspected that some women might still find him attractive due to his lean and fit body and his confident appearance.

Admiral Alenko was a military man in every sense of the word; strict with formalities and completely rigid in his opinion of the perfect soldier. Taylor knew that most if not all of the soldiers under his command in no way lived up to this ideal, and she was positive that if he ranked them best to worst she would be firmly at the bottom of that list. The Admiral not only considered military achievements and technical scores when he judged his soldiers; he also judged them based on their personal qualities and how they conducted themselves around both fellow soldiers and civilians. He had however never once commented on Taylor's escapades with various women, even though she was confident that he knew full well how she liked to spend her time on shore-leave, and was thoroughly convinced that he found her actions utterly deplorable. She didn't care however. She had accepted years ago that the Admiral didn't like her and couldn't for the life of her be bothered to try and change his opinion.

She returned his stare and started to feel somewhat worried that he had not yet said anything. The silence in the room was starting to make her feel uncomfortable and she raised her eyebrows in anticipation beckoning him silently to speak.

"The Council has decided it wants to make you a Spectre" The Admiral finally said.

Taylor couldn't hold back how surprised she was and involuntarily blinked several times while she repeated the Admirals sentence in her head. After a moment she finally settled her eyes on him. The Admirals face was completely expressionless. "I didn't think they liked my… style" she replied, slightly incredulous. The Admiral gave her a long look before he picked up a datapad from his desk and viewed it for a while before he then raised his eyes to meet hers. "On the contrary. They applaud your… direct approach to getting the job done" he said softly. Taylor continued to study his expression but it was just as cold and unfeeling as usual and she wondered whether he felt proud of her or resentful for achieving Spectre status at a younger age than he had. As always he didn't give any hint as to what he thought.

"I guess the Reaper invasion taught them something about listening when somebody yells fire" she remarked tentatively. The Admiral gave her one of his very rare smiles and nodded before he replaced the datapad on the table. "You deserve it captain" he said and leaned back against his desk. His smile had vanished again but Taylor sensed that he had meant what he said and offered him a small cautious half-smile before she lowered her eyes. "The inauguration is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Make sure your dress-uniform is up to snuff before you go before the council" the Admiral added and then glanced quickly in the direction of the door behind Taylor signaling that it was time for her leave. Taylor nodded and gave him a salute before she exited his office and headed for the elevator.

She knew Lieutenant Palmer and the rest of her soldiers were probably already at Purgatory waiting for her, but when she entered the elevator her hand automatically pushed the button to level five. As the car started to lift she wondered for a moment why she suddenly felt an urge to spend some time at the Presidium by herself. _A fucking Spectre!_. She had dreamed of this many times in the early days of her career, but had never thought she would actually achieve this status, and over the years she had started to wonder if she really wanted it all.

She knew the Council had only hesitantly made Shepard a Spectre and the Admiral had renounced his own Spectre-status after he had dealt with his addictions, and that would now make Taylor the only human Spectre alive. The Council had deliberately ignored human Spectre-candidates for years after the Reaper invasion mainly due to humanity's bad reputation caused by the attack on the Citadel by Cerberus orchestrated by Councilor Udina. It somehow didn't matter that the galaxy had been saved by a human, who had sacrificed herself in the process; humans were still considered bad seeds among the Council races and Taylor did not think that opinion was likely to change anytime in the future.

She immediately headed to the Apollo Bar and rested her hands against the railing taking in the view of the Presidium gardens below. She had always liked this place. It had a kind of serenity to it that she had never found anywhere else in the galaxy and she enjoyed watching the people strolling near the lakes, chatting and laughing seemingly without a care in the world. She suddenly envied them. Being a Spectre meant that she was allowed to do pretty much what she wanted without fear of repercussions, but it also meant that her missions would become considerably more dangerous and that everyone, including her enemies, would now know who she was. It also didn't help that she hated politicians and almost always automatically rolled her eyes whenever the Councilors appeared on various news-feeds and vehemently defended whatever new ridiculous policy they would soon implement. _My new bosses… _

She gave a small snort of contempt and then took a deep breath as she spied two young asari seating themselves on a table to her right. The asari did not notice her staring and she took the opportunity to study their bodily features feeling the familiar smirk curling her lips. She was interrupted however when she noticed someone approaching her and settling themselves beside her to her left. She turned her head and saw the Shadow Broker leaning in over the railing, watching one of the five arms of the Citadel directly ahead of them. Taylor looked at her for a moment but then lowered her eyes to the lakes beneath.

"I heard the Council is going to make you a Spectre" Liara said casually. Taylor tilted her head. "Right, I forgot. You know everything before the rest of us do" she remarked while she narrowed her eyes slightly from the glare of the water. She looked up and saw Liara wearing a small mysterious smile still staring blankly ahead. "I should, shouldn't I?" Liara replied and turned to face her. "Congratulations, it's a great honor" she added and gave Taylor a small nod. Taylor gave a small insincere smile and then lowered her eyes to the lakes again. "Yeah, so they tell me" she replied. She could feel Liara watching her for a second before she too began to study the scenery of the Presidium below. "But you don't want it" Liara said knowingly. Taylor turned her head to look at her again and wondered how this so-called Shadow Broker not only seemed to know everything about her but also seemed to evidently read her so well already, after only a couple of very short and to-the-point conversations between them.

"It doesn't matter. You don't say no to the council" she replied ponderously and resettled her eyes on the lakes. She suddenly spotted a commercial for the Alliance on a large terminal beside a bench where an image of Shepard filled almost the whole screen. At the bottom of the screen was written **Commander Shepard, hero of the Alliance. Join now! **She stared at Shepard's cheery face and wondered when that picture was taken. _Would you have made me a Spectre, Shepard? _

"I guess Shepard was honored though, huh?" she asked Liara while she continued to watch Shepard's heroic expression. Liara suddenly chuckled which made Taylor immediately look at her. "I'm not so sure about that, but she needed the status to hunt Saren Arterius" Liara replied and kept a small smile on her face. Taylor offered her a smile in return and felt all of a sudden relieved that the person she been had compared to so many times without wanting to, had evidently had similar qualms about this supposedly great honor. _Shepard wasn't a whoring scoundrel though…_

"I'm nothing like her, you know" she remarked and let her smile fade. Liara gave her a long somber look before she spoke."I know. But that doesn't mean you can't be a good Spectre" she replied. Taylor averted her eyes and then clenched her jaw for a moment. _In her mind the heroes are all like Shepard…"_Well, I guess at least my reports are definitely going to look better, huh?" she said and felt a smirk wanting to appear on her lips. "What do you mean?" Liara asked. Taylor raised her eyes to look at her again and then tried hard to suppress a grin when she saw the puzzled expression on Liara's face. She took a step closer and glanced quickly down at Liara's breasts which were only about three inches from her own before she looked up again. "I get to be the whoring scoundrel you think I am, all I want, and it's not going to show in any files" she replied with a smirk, keeping her words deliberately slow and insinuating. Liara quickly took a step backwards and gave her mixed look of surprise and slight repulsion before she immediately turned her head to stare blankly at the railing. "I'll see you at the inauguration tomorrow Captain Hayes" she said after a moment and then gave Taylor a quick glance before she turned around and left. Taylor followed her with her eyes all the way up the stairs until she vanished behind a wall.

Taylor turned to look out at the scenery and chuckled a bit at her own little joke. It caught the attention of one of the asari seated at the table next to her and Taylor felt her staring for a few seconds before she turned her head and caught the asari's eyes with a smile. _Maybe it's time to head to Purgatory. _She decided however to check her e-mails on a public terminal first, just to see if the Council might have changed their minds, which she almost kind of hoped they had. When she opened her mail-box she found that there was only one new e-mail and it was from her mother. She immediately closed the message without reading it and started to walk to the elevator, but after a couple of seconds of hesitant glances in the direction of the terminal she went back and opened the message again.

Dear Carolline

I was disppointed not to see ou at Christmas at you uncls,but you ever never come by anymre so im not suprised. I hopw youre at least not beeing a whore anymre with asari sluts anymore like your fater did. Theyre disgusting and filthfy!Find a nice human girl! insted. Someone like that whatever her bame was.

Mom

Taylor closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Fuck you mom! _She read the message one more time before she closed it and then rested her hands against the terminal, stealing hesitant glances to her left and right. Her mother had obviously been severely drunk when she had written that and the message was very similar to the other ones she had received from her over the past many years; thoroughly malicious and full of typing errors.

Taylor had not seen her mother in ages and didn't want to. She still called her every year on her birthday and on her father's birthday as well out of some sense of duty and her mother would still sometimes try to convince her to come and visit, but Taylor always made up some excuse as to why she couldn't. Her mother's reaction to this depended on whether she was drunk or not. If she was sober she would tell her politely that she was of course disappointed but understood how busy Taylor was and hoped that she would get to see her little Caroline soon. If she was drunk, which was usually the case, she would scream at Taylor what a disgusting whore she was and hoped that she would burn in hell along with all the other filthy asari sluts she had fucked. The first time it had happened Taylor had just sat in complete bewilderment while her mother had roared profanities at her and then pleaded with her mother to stop, while she struggled to suppress her emerging tears. She was used to it by now however and simply broke the transmission whenever she sensed that her mother was about to go off on one of her rampages. Every now and then she would get e-mails from her and 9 out of 10 were filled with the same drunken, hateful vulgarities as the one she had just received. She tried to just ignore them, but always ended up reading them anyway hoping that her mother had written something nice or at least proper for once.

Taylor had been close with her father but she had always had a strained relationship with her mother, and the death of her father had only made it worse. Her mother had been a firm believer in Terra Firma and Cerberus' ideals since she was very young and resented Taylor's completely opposite view. Her mother had also always liked to drink but in the years following her father's death it had slowly become a habit instead of an occasional enjoyment, and Taylor suspected that her mother was more or less constantly drunk nowadays. She also suspected that one of the reasons her mother didn't like other races was because her father had, apparently, been prone to getting a little too intimate with especially asari whenever he was away on tour.

They had found that out after his death when her mother had found a datapad in the attic of their house on Mindoir where he kept a detailed list of all his conquests complete with names, dates and descriptions of their abilities in bed. Taylor had been busy packing up her father's clothes in her parent's bedroom when her mother had stormed in and shoved the datapad in her face while she howled obscenities and curses with tears streaming down her face. Taylor's jaw had dropped as she had read through the list and understood what it was and she had immediately gone to give her mother a hug, but her mother had pushed her away and screamed that she was just as bad as her father. Taylor had begun to date an asari who lived down the street approximately six weeks before and although her mother had not been entirely happy with this, she had nonetheless accepted it and kept her tone polite whenever Alara, as her name had been, was in the room. The day after they had found the list, Taylor had broken up with Alara and had left her crying on a park bench while she walked home trying hard to suppress her own tears. She had instantly told her mother about it when she had returned and her mother had thrown her arms around her and cried with relief. It had mellowed their relationship for a while until Taylor had later been charmed by another asari she had met at a club and had definitively decided that she didn't care what her mother thought and had told her very casually where she had been and with who, when her mother had asked her the next day why she hadn't returned home to sleep. She had enlisted in the military shortly after and her mother had barely said goodbye to her before she left.

She wondered sometimes if her physical interest in asari was just some subconscious way of getting back at her mother, but she knew that she had liked Alara a lot, even if she hadn't exactly been in love with her, and had found many asari attractive since early puberty. She liked human women too, but there was a kind of mysterious sensuality to asari that she found particularly appealing and although many of the asari she had met and worked with over the years had tried to convince her that asari were not promiscuous by nature, her own experiences seemed to be clear evidence to the contrary. She resented her father for what he had done however and she suspected the real reason she had ended things with Alara was because she didn't want to be like her father, rather than it had been to make her mother happy. At her next encounter with the asari at the club she had nevertheless accepted that she evidently shared her father's preferences but had also decided that she would never do what he did and betray the woman he loved like that and she had kept that promise when she had found a steady girlfriend some years later.

She deleted the e-mail without a reply before she checked the date on her omni-tool and felt relieved that it would be another approximately six months before she would have to force herself to call her mother again. She took a deep breath and rolled her neck before she headed for the elevator with a smirk on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

"I thought we were going to do this at the Tower?" Taylor asked Councilor Tevos before she looked over at the other two Councilors behind Tevos. The Admirals office seemed somewhat small with the three Councilors, The Admiral, her three companions and herself in the room. She had been asked to meet the Admiral and the Councilors here instead of the Citadel Tower but had, as usual, not been told why. Liara T'Soni, Garrus Vakarian and Miranda Lawson had been invited to attend the ceremony by the Admiral and had thus followed her to his office after she had been informed of her new destination. She had wondered briefly whether the Council wanted to wait till the mission was completed before they made her a Spectre, but that did not explain why she was suddenly asked to meet them in the Admirals office, when they could have just sent her an e-mail explaining their reasons for postponing their granting of her Spectre-status.

Councilor Tevos took a deep breath and then cleared her throat before she spoke. "We have decided that we will grant you Spectre-status Captain Hayes…" she started and then quickly glanced behind Taylor before she continued. "…But only if Dr. T'Soni does not accompany you on this mission. The Council cannot afford to be associated with the Shadow Broker".

Taylor clenched her jaw and involuntarily flared her nostrils while she felt the anger starting to boil inside her. _Fucking politicians! _She made a half-turn to glance at Liara behind her but Liara immediately looked away after their eyes met. Taylor stared at her for a moment before she turned to the Councilor again. "I see..." she managed in a calm voice, but the outrageousness of this demand was something she knew she neither could nor wanted to let slip. She exchanged a quick glance with the Admiral beside Councilor Tevos and thought carefully about her response before she spoke again.

"But you have no problem receiving her intel for free whenever you need it" she replied coolly.

Taylor knew the Admiral would most likely want a word with her in private for that remark but she didn't care. It was her mission and despite the fact that Liara T'Soni seemed to despise her - for which Taylor couldn't really blame her considering her the way she had deliberately provoked her the day before - Taylor knew that the Shadow Broker wanted to be a part of this mission and Taylor needed her intel and her experience and she would be damned if she would just stand there and let these people dictate who she brought with her on her missions. _They have never even held a gun in their entire lives let alone had one shoved in their face! _

Councilor Tevos' eyes widened a bit at this rather antagonistic remark and she then turned to look at the Admiral for assistance. The Admiral gave Taylor a quick piercing glance before he placed a comforting hand on the Councilors shoulder. "I understand your concerns Councilor, but the people in this room are the some of the very few people still alive who know that Liara T'Soni is the Shadow Broker. She has successfully managed to keep it a secret from the rest of the galaxy for over 20 years and there is no reason to suspect that to change anytime soon" he said softly.

The Councilor inhaled deeply and then gave Taylor an icy stare. "There is still a risk that her cover will eventually be blown, and then the whole galaxy will know that the Council has not only received intel from the Shadow Broker but also allowed her to go on missions alongside Spectres" she replied.

Taylor narrowed her eyes slightly and returned the Councilor's stare while the Admiral spoke. "The Council has already done that before when it sent Commander Shepard to fight the Reapers. Granted you didn't know at the time that Dr. T'Soni had assumed the role of the Shadow Broker, but essentially the damage has already been done" he answered calmly.

Taylor raised her eyebrows a bit at this remark from her superior officer. She knew the Admiral was under constant pressure from the Council and had been thoroughly convinced that he would yield to their demand while she had her little staring-competition with the Councilor.

Councilor Tevos turned her head to give him a long look before she resettled her eyes on Taylor. "Be that as it may, it's very simple Captain Hayes; either you remove Dr. T'Soni from your squad or we will deny you Spectre-status" she said sternly.

Taylor gave her a mischievous smirk while she crossed her arms over her chest. "Then I guess you will just have to find yourselves another candidate" she replied venomously.

Councilor Tevos' cheeks immediately started to turn purple with rage and Taylor watched her open her mouth and braced herself for a fuming retort, but before the Councilor could speak Councilor Sparatus spoke up behind her. He was a large turian with a reserved demeanor and the only one of the three Councilors that Taylor thought somewhat sensible, even if she didn't trust him as she didn't trust politicians in general.

"We have already made our decision Councilor" he said calmly. "Besides I think we owe Dr. T'Soni much and more for the help she has offered over the years". Councilor Tevos gave Taylor a look that convinced her that the Councilor found her to be an utterly ungrateful, little brat for not immediately submitting to their demand but didn't say anything. "Good" The Admiral replied. "Let's begin the inauguration".

Taylor was inaugurated at the Tower while citizens of the Citadel watched and then afterwards applauded her vigorously. Councilor Tevos had a hard time keeping a straight face during the ceremony and spoke her words slowly through gritted teeth, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the small terminal in front of her. Taylor managed to suppress her urge to smirk at her and remained in her spot trying to appreciate the solemnity of this age-old ritual, but her mind soon drifted and she started to casually steal glances at the citizens on the balconies to her left and right while she waited impatiently for the ceremony to be over so she could continue her mission.

When Councilor Valern had finished his speech the Councilors all placed their right hands on their terminals signaling the end of the ceremony and the confirmation of Taylor's Spectre-status. Taylor gave them each a nod of recognition and then turned to shake Garrus' outstretched hand. "Congratulations Captain" he said and gave her a nod of approval. Taylor beamed at him and then gave Miranda a small hug, before she turned to Liara. The Shadow Broker gave her a strained smile and then cautiously extended her hand. She seemed clearly uncomfortable and Taylor suddenly felt a small surge of regret, but she immediately suppressed it and then shook Liara's hand without looking at her. The Admiral offered her his hand as well, but when she took it he pulled her in and told her quietly to be very careful as he would definitely not tolerate any similar outbursts in the future. He then gave her an angry look and immediately turned and walked down the stairs. Taylor shook her head somewhat exasperated and then followed the others in the direction of the elevator to applauses and cheers from the crowd.

She was stopped just before she reached the elevator by a plump fidgety human woman with a small camera hovering above her right shoulder and a nervous smile on her face. "Captain Hayes?" she asked and then waited for Taylor to nod before she extended her hand. "I'm Jennifer Clark with the Alliance News Network" she said and then beamed at Taylor with chillingly white teeth.

Taylor bopped her head a few times but didn't return her smile. _I don't have time for this! _

"I was hoping you'd have the time to answer a few questions" she said and then glanced quickly at Taylor's companions before she turned to the camera and pushed a small button on it. "

We'll see you on the Particle" Miranda said and then ushered Liara and Garrus to the elevator before she followed herself. Taylor tried to catch her eyes before she turned to make her understand that she really didn't want to do this and wanted an excuse to leave, but unfortunately she missed her chance. She took a deep breath as the reporter gave her another big smile and forced herself to be calm and give a somewhat unconvincing smile in return.

"So Captain Hayes, you are the first human Spectre in almost 23 years and only the third human in history to achieve this honored status. How do you feel?" the reporter asked.

Taylor stared at the camera for a moment before she answered. _I hate it! _"I am of course extremely honored and proud to be able to serve the Council and our galaxy" she replied with grin.

She wondered whether the reporter had any inkling that she had gambled severely with her status as Spectre when she had stood her ground against Councilor Tevos.

"Of course Captain Hayes, and may I say that on behalf of humanity we are extremely proud of your accomplishment and give you our fullest support" the reporter replied. Her smile was so unbelievably false that Taylor instantly felt an urge to wipe it off her face with a slap but instead chose to dig her fingernails deep into her palms and give the reporter an appreciative nod and a half-smile.

"And you I understand the Council has already given you on a mission?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I can't comment on that" Taylor replied politely.

The reporter seemed to already have anticipated this and quickly looked at her omni-tool for her next question. "I understand that you are often compared to the great hero Commander Shepard. How does that make you feel?" she asked.

Taylor's smile faded somewhat and she sensed that one of her fingernails was now eerily close to piercing the skin of her palm. She forced a grin on her face and inhaled deeply before she spoke. "I assure you that comparing me to Commander Shepard is like trying catch the wind with your hands; it can't be done and it makes no sense. Commander Shepard has no equal; she is the greatest hero of our cycle" she answered solemnly.

The reporter seemed marveled at this eloquent and respectful response and gave Taylor a small nod of approval before she looked to her omni-tool again. Taylor felt an urge to stick a finger in her throat but managed to keep a straight face and glanced quickly at the camera before the reporter continued.

"I expect your parents are extremely proud as well I take it?" Taylor's grin immediately faded again and this time she did not force another one on her lips. She unclenched her fists and gave the reporter a threatening glare before she answered. "My father is dead and my mother is an abusive drunk!" she sneered.

The reporter immediately took a small step backwards with an extremely frightened look on her face. It took her a moment to collect herself and she then quickly raised her hand to turn the camera off. "I...I think I'll leave that last question out of the segment" she said nervously. Taylor leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. "I think that's a good idea" she replied icily. The reporter gave a small nod and was about to extend her hand but thought better of it. "Good luck Captain Hayes" she muttered and quickly left in the direction of the tower.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Particle**

Lieutenant Palmer and the rest of her soldiers wanted to immediately celebrate her new status at Purgatory when she returned to the ship but she was anxious to get going and told them somewhat brusquely to prepare themselves for immediate take-off, before she headed for the war room. She had had enough of the Citadel, the Council and the Admiral and wanted as far away as possible from all the bullshit politics and sleazy reporters and just do her job. She didn't even bother to check in at the Spectre office before she left and still felt somewhat ambivalent about her new status."A goddamn Spectre…" she muttered to herself in as she opened a terminal with a map of the Galaxy with sightings of Shepard-clones. She quickly skimmed the map before she opened her omni-tool and contacted her three companions to tell them to immediately meet her there.

"All right, Dr. T'Soni has been kind enough to upload the intel of possible Shepard-sightings from her contacts and plot them on a map" she started and then pushed a button on the terminal. A large holographic map of the galaxy appeared in the middle of the square table where all the sightings where represented by blinking red dots. She let her companions take a moment to let their eyes scan over it. "As you can see we have our work cut out for us, although I admit I have not yet had the time to sort through Dr. T'Soni's intel properly, so I haven't made my decision on where we should start" she continued. She looked at each of her companions in turn, before she started to circle the table stealing glances at their faces and letting her eyes follow in the direction of theirs. Garrus and Miranda seemed to be deep in thought as their eyes scanned over the map stopping abruptly at each blinking light before moving to the next. Liara had however fixed her eyes on a specific dot and Taylor stopped and settled herself next to her.

"Dr. T'Soni, I'm guessing you have an idea for that?" she said. Liara glanced at her for a moment before she reached out to touch the holo. The map instantly zoomed in on a planet in the Exodus Cluster and across it was written the name Chariot. Taylor raised her arm to let her omni-tool scan it and quickly viewed the planets description. Chariot housed mainly research companies and had originally been settled by humans who had discovered vast amounts of eezo. The discovery had attracted companies from all over the galaxy and the population now consisted of a good mix of various races settled in large cities in strategic locations around the planet.

Liara zoomed in further on a city and then on an office building in the outskirts of the city's industrial area. "I believe that's where will they strike next" she said. Miranda walked over and settled herself on her other side. "Why there?" she asked as she took in the blueprint of the building. "My contacts have informed me of several Shepard-clone sightings in this industrial area over the past 24 hours. This company refines minerals and also has very delicate technical equipment used for attempts to make artificial element zero. I'm guessing Mr. Crow wants to take over the galaxy and he needs both ships and clones to do that" she explained. Taylor inhaled deeply and then pursed her lips, as she wondered exactly how far this Mr. Crow was in his plan.

She bobbed her head as she stared blankly at the holo and then turned to Liara. "Good catch Dr. T'Soni" she said with a smile. Liara gave her a quick somewhat nervous glance before she opened her omni-tool and scanned the holo. Taylor went to her terminal and closed the map before she turned to the others. "All right, I'll give Stromberg the order to head for Chariot and have him give you an ETA. Dismissed."

She spent the rest of the day in her cabin studying the information on Chariot and Mr. Crow more closely. She skipped lunch and only took a small plate of dinner with her to her cabin. She was unusually nervous about this mission and it didn't help that she knew she had acted like a complete jack-ass towards Liara, whom she was beginning to realize that she would be thoroughly lost without.

Taylor had been curious to see Liara's reaction to suddenly being complimented at her very reasonable choice of destination, when she had only yesterday antagonized Liara at the Presidium. She had to admit that it had given a huge boost to her ego that she had been able to rattle the mighty Shadow Broker like that but it wouldn't do any good to repeat it, since she knew that without Liara she would have been forced to make what could potentially be a rash decision, or even worse, a wrong decision. _I probably would have just picked a dot at random without her… _"Some Spectre, huh?" she muttered to herself over the food and shook her head with a dejected smile. When she was done with her dinner she quickly scanned through her e-mails on her private terminal and then went to the bathroom wash her hands before she lifted her shirt to find that the scar she had received about a month ago had virtually disappeared.

It had happened on their last shore-leave, when the soldiers in her platoon had taken her out to celebrate her birthday. They had gone to a club and Taylor had been approached by an asari who had flirted with her shamelessly, but that had ended rather abruptly when the asari's turian ex-boyfriend had shown up completely wasted on drugs with a knife in his hand. Taylor had managed to overpower him but only after she had received a rather long cut on her side from the knife. She had then kicked him in the groin and quickly left before security arrived. She was a captain with the Alliance after all and she knew she would get hell from the Admiral if he found out that she had been part of a police investigation while on tour. She had treated the wound herself with medi-gel, but since she wasn't a doctor the healing process had taken somewhat longer than it normally would have_. That's what you get for being a whoring scoundrel._ She gave herself a small smirk in the mirror and went back to the bed.

After a moment she heard a cautious knock on her door and then rose and went over to open it. When the doors swooshed to the side she saw Liara T'Soni with a bottle in her hand and a very small hint of a hesitant smile on her face. It took a moment for Taylor to properly grasp who her surprise visitor was and she then bid Liara enter with a furrowed brow.

"I brought you this" Liara said and handed Taylor the bottle. It was Thessian wine, a rare kind. "Thanks" Taylor replied while she studied the label. She asked Liara to sit on the couch and then opened the wine-bottle and fetched two glasses from the small cabinet next to the couch. She studied Liara's face as she poured the glasses. The Shadow Broker was still a maiden in asari terms, but she was very different from all the other young asari Taylor had met and slept with over the years. There was a ponderous air about her, which Taylor suspected was probably a result of her dramatic experiences of helping Shepard first hunt down Saren Arterius and the Geth and later the Shadow Broker before she had fought alongside her in the war against the Reapers. Her expression was almost always somber and contemplative and Taylor suspected that some people might easily mistake her reserved nature for haughtiness. She had thought that herself during their first few conversations, but their encounter at the Citadel had made her change her mind, even if she still neither trusted nor especially liked the Shadow Broker.

"Here" Taylor said and placed the glass of wine on the table in front of Liara. Liara gave her thanks and then took a long sip while Taylor stared at her. She had definitely not expected this visit and found that she did not know what to say for once_. _"I.. wanted to thank you" Liara said somewhat hesitantly as she turned to look at her. The hint of a smile was back on her face but Taylor did not return it. "For standing up for me against the Council, I mean" she continued. Taylor gave a small nod and began to scratch the back of her neck. She was not used to people thanking her and it made her feel slightly uncomfortable. "The Admiral stood up for you. He explained why you should stay - I just told them to shove it" she replied offhandedly. Liara's hint of a smile turned into a real one and Taylor involuntarily stared at her lips for a moment before she forced her eyes away. She quickly rose from the couch and went over to tell the stereo to play something random but when the stereo started to play club-music she immediately turned it off and took a deep breath before she turned to Liara again. _You're not on shore-leave, Taylor. This asari is different._

Liara's smile had vanished however as she had found a small card on the table with a phone-number and a lipstick-kiss on it; a leave-behind from Taylor's latest conquest the night before at Purgatory. She looked up briefly before she replaced it on the table and then lowered her eyes to her glass. _Damn… _Taylor tried to suppress a smirk before she went over and casually took the card and curled it up before she threw it in the direction of the metal trash-can next to the couch. "Shore-leave" she explained and sat down next to Liara. Liara gave a small nod, but kept her eyes fixed firmly in front of her. "Yes, I know how you like to spend your free time" she replied quietly. Taylor took a long sip of her wine and looked at her warily. _What the fuck is she doing here?_

"I meant what I said about you making a good Spectre, Captain Hayes" Liara continued somberly. Taylor let her eyes glance casually around the room trying to come up with a response. "It's… Taylor" she finally replied with a half-smile. Liara gave her a puzzled look. "My name is Taylor" Taylor added at the sight of her expression. Liara looked contemplative for a moment. "I thought your name was Caroline?" she asked. Taylor gave a small dejected smile before she answered. "My mother is the only one who calls me Caroline" she replied quietly. She was about to take another sip of her wine but hesitated and then put the glass down on the table again when a memory of one of her mother's drunken rampages appeared in her mind. She swallowed and forced the image away with a roll of her neck. "You're not part of my platoon, so you're not obligated to call me Captain" she continued monotonously keeping her eyes fixed on her wine glass. "Taylor..." Liara said, tasting the name. "Why do you believe I think you're a whoring scoundrel?" she asked.

Taylor immediately looked at her, a bit rattled at this surprising and completely unexpected outburst and studied Liara's face for a moment with her eyes slightly narrowed. She had to admit that she was shocked at this sudden question and the puzzled and somewhat innocent look on Liara's face but soon let the familiar smirk settle on her lips. _Don't play coy with me Shadow Broker. You just found the evidence of my last asari lay! _

_"_You do, and I am…" she replied with a smirk and then looked Liara casually up and down. Liara immediately started to look somewhat uncomfortable and quickly averted her eyes. "Thanks for the drink" she said after a moment and then rose to turn and leave. Taylor immediately rose as well and settled herself in front of Liara blocking her path to the door. She was surprised that Liara chose to remain in her spot this time even if she looked just as uncomfortable as when she had provoked her at the Apollo bar. She couldn't deny that she found the Shadow Broker attractive as she found most asari attractive, and she wondered for a moment why Liara had chosen to come and see her late at night in her cabin with a bottle of wine. _Oh my, did we have a hidden agenda, Shadow Broker?_

"You're cute Liara T'Soni" she said quietly as she wondered why Liara had neither taken a step backwards nor already walked past her. Liara lowered her eyes for a moment and shook her head while a very slight flush started to creep up her cheeks. "I am not some dancer in a nightclub" she replied somberly as she looked up again. The look on Liara's face was one of slight disappointment, but Taylor sensed a hint of something else in it as well, although she couldn't quite put a word to it.

"I know that… I'm just wondering why you haven't left yet" Taylor said with a slight smirk while she stared at Liara's blue eyes. She wanted to raise a hand to Liara's cheek and lean in to kiss her as she sensed that Liara might in fact let her do it, but managed to resist by clenching her fists. _This asari is off limits, remember?_

"I'm sorry Shadow Broker. That was inappropriate" she said calmly and then moved aside for Liara to proceed to the door. As Liara walked past her Taylor noticed that her fingernails had dug deep into her palm making four small purple half-circles in her skin. "I already told you I'm not Shepard" Taylor called after her, suddenly wanting to explain her somewhat unfortunate behavior.

Liara turned and gave Taylor a weary look. "No, you certainly are not, Captain Hayes" she replied. Taylor felt a sudden surge of anger course through her at Liara's words. _What the fuck does she want from me? _"It's too bad she's dead then. I'm sure she would have loved to get a chance to save the galaxy one more time with a big smile on her face and then be home in time to make dinner for the Admiral!" Taylor replied heatedly. Liara's eyes widened a bit before she lowered her head and suddenly seemed to have a hard time restraining her tears. _Oh Taylor you stupid, fucking moron! _"Shit" Taylor whispered and then immediately went to Liara and stretched out her hand. Liara turned as she approached her however and managed to open the door and exit before Taylor could reach her.

She rested her hand against the door and closed her eyes. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _She knew Liara had respected and admired Shepard more than anyone in the galaxy, but had obviously not been sensitive enough to keep her own frustrations about her constant comparison to Shepard to herself. She sighed heavily but then suddenly wondered why she cared at all how Liara felt about anything. "She's just an asari, Taylor. You don't give a fuck, remember?" she muttered. She did care however, even if she didn't want to, and that made her feel very uneasy. She all of a sudden felt an irresistible urge to smoke a cigarette and immediately fetched the pack from her nightstand. She took one out and placed it in her mouth and flicked a light but hesitated just as the small cylinder started to smoke. She instantly removed it from her mouth and stubbed it violently in the ash-tray causing it to curl up and break. She stared at it for a second and then shook her head again. _Only! After! Sex!_

She took a deep breath and then went to open her private terminal to look through her e-mails and found that she had already received a surprising amount of congratulatory messages about her becoming a Spectre. She read through the e-mails quickly but stopped when Stromberg suddenly contacted her through the com. "Admiral Alenko wishes to speak with you Captain" he said. There was a jitter in his voice that instantly annoyed Taylor, but she ignored it and told Stromberg to patch the Admiral through.

The large glass display-case behind her desk which was reserved for ship-models, instantly turned white and an image of the Admiral then appeared on it. "Captain. I understand you are on your way to Chariot?" he said unsmiling. Taylor gave him a salute before she answered. "Yes Admiral. Dr. T'Soni has received intel from her contacts, which heavily implies that the planet has severe Shepard-clone activity around a specific area" she replied. The Admiral looked thoughtful for a moment. "How long till you reach Chariot?" he asked. Taylor checked her omni-tool for the time. "About 36 hours, sir" The Admiral rubbed his chin for a while after her reply and Taylor sensed that he was somehow not entirely in agreement with her decision to make Chariot their first stop.

"I've looked through the reports, Captain. There are sightings both on Freedoms Progress and Horizon and people have started to disappear from both colonies, and those colonies are much closer to your present location" he said calmly. Taylor remembered having read that in the Shadow Brokers vast intel, but Freedoms Progress and Horizon were not the only colonies being supposedly attacked, and the number of Shepard-sightings on Chariot far outnumbered the ones on both colonies. _Is he testing me? _

"Mr. Crow needs eezo for drive-cores and Chariot is vastly more populated than both those colonies, which means the risk to both human and alien lives is far greater, sir" she replied. The Admiral gave her a long look and then bobbed his head very slightly. "I'm guessing Dr. T'Soni suggested this?" he asked. Taylor averted her eyes for a moment. _He clearly doesn't think much of his new Spectre._

"She did, sir, and I agree" she replied calmly. The Admiral suddenly gave her a very small hint of a smile, but his eyes remained cold. "Good" he replied quietly. Taylor nodded and was about to break the transmission sensing that their conversation was over, but was interrupted when the Admiral continued.

"I'm glad to see your collaboration with the Shadow Broker is working out so well. But one word of advice…" he suddenly stopped seemingly to ponder the phrasing of the rest of that sentence and Taylor immediately sensed that whatever he was about to say was not something she would like hearing. "Don't get too… _personal _with her. You will find that to be much more trouble than it's worth".

Taylor froze at this sudden remark. It took her a moment to collect herself while she studied the slightly threatening glare in his expression. She felt tempted to ask what exactly he meant by that, but knew that the Admiral would not want to elaborate, as he never did with anything. "I wouldn't dream of it, sir" she replied. The Admiral did not look entirely convinced before he broke the transmission and left Taylor to stare at the blank glass display-case with a furrowed brow.


	7. Chapter 7

The day after she still had trouble shaking the Admiral's words and her own slight guilt towards Liara. she was beginning to understand that she liked antagonizing her and had now twice not been able to resist it despite the fact that she had promised herself to play nice with her due to the importance of a seamless cooperation during the mission. She was convinced that she had not been wrong about Liara not resisting if she had leaned in to kiss her, and the boost this gave to her ego was delicious, but she was determined not to let it happen. The Shadow Broker was not some regular asari dancer, as Liara had herself stated; she was one of the most powerful people in the galaxy and Taylor knew she could probably have her disappear without a trace if she wanted to. Her own reaction to Liara's eyes welling up had her concerned however, as she was used to not giving a flying fuck about asari tears and she figured she better try and contain the situation quickly for both their sakes, so after a quick lunch in the mess hall she went over and knocked casually in the door to the XO office.

"Dr. T'Soni?" she asked as she entered. Liara was seated at her desk and did not turn, but simply muttered a small 'captain'. Taylor nodded at Glyph before she approached her. "I'm… sorry about my behavior last night" she said while she studied her from behind. Liara still didn't turn and made no reply either. Taylor licked her lips for a moment wondering whether this was enough of an apology. She was about to turn and leave but then wondered whether Liara would or already had complained to the Admiral and decided that she probably ought to make an effort to explain her actions further.

"I've been compared to Shepard most of my adult life and uhm… Well it's apparently hard for people to understand that I'm not like her and don't want to be" she continued quietly. Liara glanced in her direction but still didn't reply. Taylor shook her head for moment. She hated apologizing. "And I know you respected her, so… I'm sorry" she finished. She knew her apology probably didn't sound very sincere, but she hoped that Liara would at least refrain from contacting the Admiral. She waited another few seconds for Liara to respond, but then turned as the silence from her continued.

After she had taken a few steps she heard Liara rise behind her. "And the comment about me being cute?" she asked.

Taylor took a few seconds to suppress a grin, and then turned to face her. She knew she still had a smile on her face, but so be it. "You know my history, Shadow Broker. I know cuteness when I see it" she replied casually.

Liara glared at her. "That's your excuse?" she asked.

Taylor stared at her for a moment, but she still couldn't suppress her smile. "I am what I am, Liara. And when you come to my cabin late at night with a bottle of wine, knowing all about my preferences…" she paused to give a shrug of her shoulders "then you should have known that a whoring scoundrel like me would not want to pass up a chance like that" she said calmly.

Liara continued to glare at her, and Taylor then approached her. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and Taylor wondered when Liara would let a warp fly in her direction. When Liara still didn't answer Taylor gave her a smirk. "You wouldn't have stopped me, would you?" she asked. Liara averted her eyes for a moment, and Taylor studied her features. There was no doubt that Liara was not only cute, but in fact beautiful with her gorgeous blue eyes, purple lips and freckles and she found herself wondering whether Liara would agree to see her in secret, as she knew the Council would probably terminate her mission immediately if they found out that she was fucking the Shadow Broker. _You're just a smirk or two away aren't you Liara?_

"I can't believe how disrespectful you are being to me" Liara suddenly said. Taylor's smirk faded somewhat, even though she knew she should have expected this retort. "How disrespectful you are to my people in general" Liara added somewhat angrily.

Taylor resisted an impulse to roll her eyes "I don't her the girls complaining, and they should know it is what it is" she said calmly. Liara gave a snort of derision "have you ever once thought what it would be like if you were in their shoes? To just be thrown out afterwards like… like you were nothing?" she asked with a shake of her head. Taylor clenched her jaw for a moment. She had heard all this before from another girl who had insisted on telling Taylor exactly what she thought of her before she had left. Taylor had been smoking her cigarette and gone over the brief on her next mission in her head while the girl had rambled for nearly ten minutes. After she had finished talking, Taylor had thanked her for her honesty and then pointed at the door before she had fetched a datapad from her bag beside the bed. The door had slammed so hard behind her, that a neighboring occupant of a room in the small hotel had knocked on her door and asked if everything was all right.

Taylor stared at her. "Are you finished?" she asked. Liara seemed to have a hard time composing herself, but managed it after a few seconds. "You were right, though. You are nothing like Shepard. Shepard was a hero. She was kind and compassionate and the reason she won the war against the Reapers was because she cared about someone other than herself!" she replied heatedly.

This time Taylor did not resist the urge to roll her eyes. "And I only care about pussy, right?" she replied casually. Liara closed her eyes and shook her head violently while she muttered a small 'Goddess'. Taylor shook her head with exasperation "Let me tell you what Shepard is, Liara. Shepard is dead. She won the most important war in the history of our cycle, but she's dead. And you can bitch and moan all you want trying to make me into something I'm not, but it's not going to change the fact that Shepard is _dead_" she added with a slight sneer.

Liara did not look up, but it was evident that she was once again fighting to restrain her tears. Taylor took a deep breath. _Good job, Taylor fucking Hayes_. "Why the fuck are your tears different from other asari's?" she asked with a furrowed brow. Liara raised her eyes and gave her a puzzled look. "Why the fuck do I care what you think… or if you cry?" Taylor added. She was feeling extremely uneasy about the sudden urge she had to take her words back about Shepard and then turned to exit the XO office. She turned before she reached the door and looked at Liara again. Liara was looking back at her with a pained expression on her face. _What the fuck are you doing to me Shadow Broker? _She gave Liara a quick regretful look before she turned again and exited.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chariot**

The next morning they were greeted by the local Police Captain and three police officers as they exited the air-lock of the Particle and stepped down onto the platform. Taylor took a moment to look around before she approached the Captain. The spaceport of Nazareth City was not large, and there were only a few other small frigates parked around the adjoining platforms, where various spaceport officials buzzed around chatting with crew-men and pilots with datapad's in their hands. The city was directly in front them and consisted mainly of tall skyscrapers painted in light, soothing colors where skycars zoomed in all the directions between the buildings.

The Captain was a turian with a somewhat tired look and did not seem too excited about having to deal with the sudden presence of the Alliance military as he looked Taylor warily up and down when she approached him. "Captain Hayes" he said and extended a hand to her. Taylor shook it and nodded, wondering how much he had been told about their unexpected visit. When Stromberg had requested docking permission, the female spaceport official on the other end had hesitated for a few seconds and then told them to stand by while she contacted the local authorities. Stromberg and Taylor had exchanged a glance at this before Taylor had broken in and told the official that they would gladly comply, but that she would appreciate it if the police got there quickly as they had received intel of terrorist activities with possible lives currently at risk and had to move quickly to contain the situation.

"I understand you have been informed of possible Blue Suns activity around of our industrial area?" the Captain asked. It was a story the Admiral had cocked up in advance to explain their presence to all local law enforcement, but Taylor could tell from the look in the turian's eyes that he did not buy that bull whatsoever.

"We have, Captain" she replied calmly. The Captain glanced at Taylor's companions behind her before he spoke again. "I see. So this has nothing to do with reports of possible Shepard-clone sightings around our planet?" he asked. Taylor smiled and let her hands meet behind her back. "Those sightings are far from being confirmed, Captain, but I assure you the Alliance is doing all it can to investigate this… _strange_ phenomenon" she answered, trying her best to sound as if she didn't at all believe in the credulity of these reports. Taylor sensed that if the Captain were able to, he would have smiled at this attempt to explain away the true motive for their visit.

The Captain nodded and then glanced behind him at his officers who immediately turned and walked over to their police skycar behind them. "All right, Captain" The Captain said after he had turned to Taylor again. "We have arranged for transport to the area. Please follow me." He turned and then walked over to another skycar next to the one his officers were currently entering into and Taylor made a gesture at her companions to follow. The skycar was black with neither police logo nor driver. "I figured you might scare off the Blue Suns if you went in one of ours" he explained as he opened a door for her. Taylor gave him a knowing smile before she nodded and entered.

The ride to the office-building in the industrial area was short, but was made even shorter by Taylor's irresistible urge to step hard on the gas as she navigated around incoming traffic, narrowly missing a taxi that honked its horn violently before it made a quick turn to evade her. "Slow down Taylor!" Miranda half-shouted behind her, but Taylor ignored her and continued at the same somewhat terrifying pace through the large city. She wanted to get this over with fast so she could retreat to her cabin in the Particle and forget how annoyingly and unexpectedly nervous she felt about Liara's close proximity. She had deliberately ignored Liara all morning and was determined not to make any excuses about her behavior the previous two days, but that didn't change the fact that she was feeling uncommonly remorseful about her outbursts about Shepard and that feeling had chosen to manifest itself as an uncomfortable knot in her stomach.

She slowed the vehicle as they arrived a few blocks from the office-building and then landed gently about a half-mile from the building. When they exited she asked everyone to check their equipment once more and then slowly approached the large structure directly ahead of them. She stopped in front of the stairs leading up to the main entrance and took in the view. The building was only two stories and above the doors was written the word Chariot R&D Ltd in large white letters. To the left and right of the entrance were two small statues of a hand holding a planet. _How… biblical_.

The building seemed eerily silent which immediately concerned Taylor considering that it was a common work-day, albeit still fairly early in the morning. She turned and walked back to the skycar and then contacted Palmer through her omni-tool to tell him to stand by with the rest of her platoon. "Seems a little too quiet for my taste" Garrus remarked. Taylor nodded and then took out her gun and the rest of her companions immediately mirrored her action. They slowly approached the entrance with their guns raised and peered left and right scanning the area for possible activity. Just before Taylor had taken her first step up the stairs she suddenly heard a gun-shot and then immediately ran up and settled herself just outside the closed doors. She glanced quickly behind her at her companions before she slowly opened the door and peered inside with her gun stretched out in front of her. She walked quietly down a small corridor and was surprised to find that the two doors to her left and right were open, and the offices were empty. The door at the far end was however still closed, and she looked back at her companions and made a gesture at them to stand by, before she very carefully opened the door.

Her jaw dropped somewhat at what she saw inside. About a dozen Shepard-clones were standing strategically around the large open office with their guns pointed at the kneeling employees of Chariot R&D. Before she could raise her gun to shoot at them however she suddenly felt the cold metal of a gun-barrel drilling into her temple. "That's close enough Spectre" the clone sneered beside her. She very slowly lowered her gun and looked around at the scared faces of the employees. Taylor's eyes went to a human woman who was kneeling with her hands on her head and her face glittering with tears, while she looked at Taylor with pleading in her eyes. Taylor stared back at her with her jaw clenched while she felt the clone thrusting the gun deeper into her temple. _Crap…_

A second later however she suddenly felt the gun drop and heard the clone beside her give a small cry of pain and then turned to see that Garrus had slipped a knife into the clone's side. She exchanged a quick glace with him and the next thing she knew it was all chaos.

She hurled herself behind a desk as gun-shots started pummeling mercilessly through the air and quickly checked to see if the clone next to her was dead. When the clone raised a hand at her she immediately fired her gun point blank at its forehead. To her right she saw Miranda and Liara firing warps and singularities from behind another desk and Garrus was pushing a female employee out of the way, before he then swung an armored fist at a clone causing it to immediately fall over a desk behind it, dropping its gun. Taylor rose from cover and let her gun blaze in the direction of two clones which were hovering helplessly above the ground, trapped in a singularity-field, while she felt her shield soften the blow of shots fired at her.

She ducked behind cover again and when she sensed that most of the remaining clones were busy firing at her companions she sprang for the unsuspecting clone closest to her and pushed it violently to the ground. The clone looked up at her with a confused expression on its face before it then suddenly smiled at her and raised its left hand which Taylor could see was holding something black and cylindrical. The clone's thumb was hovering over the top of the cylinder where a small red button was situated. _Oh shit! _"Get out!" Taylor roared and then quickly yanked up an employee from the floor before she turned and pushed Liara forcefully in the direction of the door a few yards in front of them.

She jumped out the building and fell down the stairs landing on top of the employee just before the explosion sent large fragments of concrete zooming over their heads. She kept herself on top of the employee for a few seconds and felt the dust of concrete covering her before she slowly rose and then pulled the employee to her feet. The employee had a look of sheer terror on her face as she stared at the exploded building in complete disbelief. "Are you okay?" Taylor asked her. The employee nodded very slightly keeping her eyes fixed on the main entrance. Taylor could almost hear the pounding in the woman's chest. She gave the employee a gentle pat on the arm, before she turned to see if her companions were hurt.

Garrus was cradling one of the statues with one arm while he held his hand to the side of his face. Taylor approached him and gently removed his hand to see how bad the wound was, and gave a small sigh of relief when it turned out just to be a rather long scratch. Miranda and Liara were slowly rising from the courtyard behind her, staggering a bit from having been suddenly hurled forcefully from the building. Taylor brushed some of the concrete-dust from her armor and quickly approached them. "We're okay, Taylor" Miranda said and then helped Liara to her feet. Taylor quickly looked Liara up and down feeling her heartbeat increase at the sudden and unexpectedly intense worry that she might in fact not be okay, but relaxed when Liara looked up and nodded in affirmation. She then turned and watched the remains of the Chariot R&D office-building. The entrance had been blown considerably larger and in front of it were large blocks of debris surrounded by dusty rubble. She turned again and glanced at her companions and they started following her back up the stairs. Garrus let go of the statue and joined them.

They carefully climbed over the rubble and stepped inside. The floor was covered in debris and charred furniture and monitors and everywhere Taylor looked she could see half-torn bodies covered in blood and soot. She kneeled next to the body of a turian, who looked more or less intact, but didn't move. She found his neck and placed two fingers to his throat and waited. _Damn it! _"I don't think we'll find any survivors" Garrus remarked as he leaned over two dead bodies a few feet away.

"Keep looking" Taylor replied. She carefully navigated through piles of rubble before she suddenly spied something moving a few meters to her left. She turned and saw a clone extending its hand and opening its mouth to say something, but couldn't as half its jaw was missing. Taylor quickly raised her gun and fired a shot which hit the clone right between the eyes. _Scum!_ She then slowly lowered her gun as she approached the clone and kneeled to check if it was dead.

She immediately looked up however when a sound suddenly came from further down the room. She rose and very slowly headed in its direction with her gun raised. Behind a half-smashed table she heard quiet sobbing. _A child?_ `She carefully removed the table and saw a small asari, probably only six or seven cradling her knees and looking immensely scared. The girl had managed to escape the blast with just a few bruises and scratches. Taylor holstered her gun and extended her hand with a small smile. The asari didn't move but just looked at her with tears streaming down her dirty face and her entire body shaking.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you" Taylor said quietly. The asari still didn't move so Taylor kneeled down before her and fixed her with a comforting look. "Where's your mom?" she asked. The asari's eyes flickered across the room for a moment before they settled on something a few feet away. The little girl gave a small sound of despair while Taylor looked in the direction of her eyes. The body of an asari lay face down over a pile of rubble just a few feet away. Her right arm had been torn off in the blast. Taylor turned her head again and took a deep breath before she put her hands on the girl's cheeks. The girl instinctively moved her head back but Taylor firmly but gently held it in place.

"We have to get you out of here" she said with a serious look. The girl stared at her for a second with pure terror in her eyes but then nodded. Taylor removed her hands and settled them under the asari's arms and gently lifted her up to carry her. She carefully navigated through the debris and torn bodies and exited the building. The asari had stopped crying and had a look of complete disbelief on her face as she stared blankly at the sky-cars outside. Taylor felt the anger boil inside her as an image of the girl's dead mother appeared before her eyes. _God damn you all to hell!_

Taylor gave the girl to a doctor who had just arrived along with several policecars, firecars and ambulances. She gave the girls crest a gentle stroke before the girl then followed the doctor into an ambulance. As the ambulance took to the sky Taylor turned to look at the firemen, who had started to rid the building of bodies. So far it seemed like the girl had been the only survivor. "That was a nice thing you did" Taylor turned her head and saw Liara approaching her. "You mean the girl?" she asked as Liara settled next to her. Liara nodded and watched the firemen, while Taylor gave her a long look. _She clearly doesn't think much of me. _

"Maybe I'm not as bad as you think I am" she replied casually as she turned her head to watch a fireman wrap some torn off limbs in plastic bags. "I hope not" Liara replied and turned to walk over to Garrus. Taylor watched her walk with a mixed feeling of desire and guilt. She was not used to caring about what people thought of her. She had not cared about it for a long time, not since… _Stop it! _She shook her head before the image could form clearly in her mind and then checked her omni-tool. She would have to give the Admiral a full report but that had to wait until the crime-scene had been thoroughly investigated. She watched Garrus and Liara speaking next to the stairs to the building. Garrus extended a hand to Liara's shoulder and Liara then turned and gave Taylor a quick glance before she turned to Garrus again. Taylor closed her eyes and took a deep breath_. I hope this doesn't get complicated._

She exchanged a few words with the Police Captain who arrived a few minutes later and told him in her most polite manner to back off as this was now a military matter. The Captain was not pleased at this interference by the Alliance concerning crimes in his jurisdiction, but eventually yielded and promised Taylor to forward a full report from his men and CSI's. Taylor nodded and shook his hand before she then turned to the skycar and beckoned her companions follow her. On their way back to the Particle she thought about that young asari whom had just seen her mother's body torn to pieces and suddenly felt an instinct to bang her fist against the dash-board. She tightened her grip around the wheel instead until her knuckles turned white as milk. She noticed Liara glancing at her from the seat next to hers before she turned her head again to peer out the front windows, and Taylor then swallowed something as she thought about the look on the Admiral's face on the display-case from their conversation two nights before. "_You'll find that to be much more trouble than it's worth…"_


	9. Chapter 9

**The Particle**

She retreated to her cabin after they returned to the Particle from Chariot and did not leave except to fetch herself a quick cup of coffee in the mess hall. She spent almost the entire rest of the day going over the incoming reports from the Chariot police and took a long time to write her own to the Admiral and the Council. Miranda tried to contact her numerous times over the com, but she purposely ignored her until she then received a stern e-mail asking her to immediately respond. Taylor reluctantly replied that she was fine and just busy and asked Miranda not to worry about her. Miranda almost instantly wrote back, but Taylor ignored the e-mail and closed her terminal. She opened a bottle of red wine late in the evening and drunk almost all of it before she fell asleep fully dressed on the couch.

"All the clones are dead, sir" Taylor said the next morning as she watched the somber look on the Admiral's face. His holographic image in the small communications room just behind the war room was shimmering slightly from interference and Taylor then told the VI to try and clear it up.

"Don't bother with that Captain. I won't be long" the Admiral said. "It seems the mission was a success. No eezo or equipment was taken from the building. Good work." he added unsmiling and then nodded in approval. Taylor forced herself to give him a small smile. "Thank you sir, but almost all of the employees died in the explosion, including the mother of a young asari who had unfortunately decided to come with her mother to work yesterday" she replied coolly, feeling the rage of when she had seen the look of complete despair in the girls eyes reappear with a vengeance . "There is always collateral damage in these situations. Dr. T'Soni and yourself made the right call" The Admiral answered. Taylor felt her fast heartbeat slowing as she realized that he was actually right. It didn't matter where they went; there would be dead bodies and crying children all over, and that had never bothered her much before, but it somehow did now. _You're going soft Taylor. Why? _She shook her head for a moment and blinked the thought away before she looked at the Admiral again. "Agreed sir, thank you" she replied. The Admiral nodded and she then gave him a salute before she broke the transmission.

After her debrief from the Admiral she felt her confidence slowly resurfacing, as she realized the logic of his words. She was still sad about the girl, but he was right; if it hadn't happened on Chariot it would most likely have happened somewhere else and in fact did all the time all around the galaxy. Her nerves were calming slowly as she exited her cabin and took the elevator and then suddenly found herself standing outside the XO office with her hand hovering over the green entry-button. "This is a bad idea" she muttered to herself and lowered her hand. She fidgeted for a while outside the door and rolled her neck and shoulders trying to convince herself to leave, but then realized that if she could just make some kind of peace with Liara she might be able to purge this unwanted nervousness she had begun to feel at her presence and go back to being her old self again. She wondered for a moment if she should knock but then pushed the button and waited for the doors to swoosh to the side.

Inside Liara was seated at her desk seemingly going over the reports from the Chariot police. She quickly glanced in Taylor's direction before she resettled her eyes on a datapad. "What are you working on?" Taylor asked. Liara glanced in her direction again but didn't turn. "Just going over the casualty reports from the office-building" she replied casually. Taylor continued to watch her and could tell that she was trying her best not to appear as uncomfortable as she evidently was with them being alone together again. She then walked over and placed herself behind Liara leaning in to watch the datapad on the desk in front of her. "Any word on the girl's father or family?" Taylor asked quietly. Liara cleared her throat and then shifted somewhat in her seat. "No, not yet. She's still in the custody of the Chariot police" she replied.

Taylor studied her from behind and then closed her eyes for a second feeling her newfound confidence slowly evaporating. _Shit! _She knew that despite the warning from the Admiral and her conviction that the Council would ground the Particle immediately and probably persuade Alliance brass to demote her, she would not hesitate for even a second if Liara asked her to fuck her, but there was something else in it as well; a feeling she was not used to and didn't want inside her. She cared what Liara thought of her. She had felt an unusual guilt about her treatment of those asari she had used when Liara had told her point blank how horrible her actions were towards them, and she hated that Liara had this effect on her. _You're actually beginning to care what some asari thinks of you, you bleeding heart pussy?_

She immediately turned and headed for the door but stopped before she pushed the button and closed her eyes. _You're just a whoring scoundrel Taylor. _"It really is a damned shame about that girl but I guess I'll just have to find _something_ to take my mind off it at our next shore-leave" she said and then turned to give Liara a slightly malicious smirk. Liara turned in her chair and looked at her with an expression of pure loathing, and considering what a powerful biotic she had just demonstrated the day before that she still was, Taylor decided that it was probably best to just leave before she received a full-on warp right to her chest. "Dr. T'Soni" she said with a nod then turned around.

She raised her hand to push the button, but suddenly stopped when she could hear Liara approaching her rapidly. Just as she turned around Liara grabbed her shirt and then pushed her back against the door. Liara didn't let go of her though and instead leaned in closer. Her mouth was less than an inch away and Taylor realized that she wanted it more than ever but didn't move. Liara looked down at Taylor's lips and parted her own slightly as she slowly moved even closer. Taylor could feel her breath and saw a purple tongue emerge to quickly brush her upper lip before it disappeared again. _Oh fuck. _

She sensed that her panties were probably on their way to becoming thoroughly wet and immediately leaned over to catch Liara's mouth. Liara moved back before their lips met however and gave Taylor a playful smile before she took a step backwards. Taylor tried to go to her but found that she couldn't move. She looked down and saw that Liara had put up a barrier covering her chest and arms, rooting her to the spot. Liara had a triumphant smile on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest and watched tilted her head and raised one eye-brow. "You know eventually you need to leave this office and then you will have to let me go." she said.

Liara took a small step forward and settled her face two inches away from Taylor's. She then gave Taylor a pat on the cheek before she spoke. "Now you know what it's like when somebody toys with you. I suggest you remember this the next time you go on shore-leave" she said and turned around to walk to her desk. Taylor smiled. _Smart move Shadow Broker_. She couldn't help but admire Liara's little joke but all it did was make her want Liara even more.

"You know you could have just said that. You didn't have to _lick_ my _lip_ to make your point" she said with a smirk. Liara turned to look at her and Taylor felt the barrier lift and instinctively rolled her shoulders and neck. Liara approached her with a somewhat disgusted look on her face. "You are just a horny teenager aren't you? You've never had your heart broken, never even loved anybody in your whole life!" she said angrily. There was a shakiness in her voice which Taylor sensed was only partly due to anger however. _Damn, Shepard. Everybody fell in love with you, huh? _

"We've already been over this Shadow broker. And although you obviously think you know me because you read my files, the truth is you have no idea who I am" Taylor replied coolly. Liara gave a snort of contempt. "Oh really? I know you see all asari as potential tools for your pleasure, but you've never actually cared for even one of them have you?" she asked heatedly. It was true. She didn't care about any of them and she didn't want to. She had purposely given up on love a long time ago after her human girlfriend had died at the hands of batarian raiders. She had planned to propose to her that very same day.

"I care about one!" she replied defiantly. Liara quickly averted her eyes while a slight flush started creeping up her cheeks. "I… I don't believe you" she said nervously. Taylor slowly approached her and carefully lifted her chin so that their eyes could meet. _You want to believe me, though. Don't you? _She leaned in and kissed Liara very gently on the lips. She then took a step backwards. "You're right. I can't be believed" she said and gave Liara a small smile before she turned and left the XO office.


	10. Chapter 10

She threw herself on the bed in the dimly lit captain's cabin and told the stereo to play "Time after time". The song was ancient, but her girlfriend's sister had liked it and she had grown to love it herself. It was real music before it had become digitalized and the voice of the human singer had a way of reaching into her very soul and make her feel things she didn't want to feel too often.

She hadn't listened to the song in ages and felt goosebumps emerging on her skin. "_Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you…" _She closed her eyes. _I miss you_. She tried to summon the image of her girlfriend, but it was Liara who appeared before her eyes. She tried to think of something else but the image was persistent.

_"__Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind…"_ She moved a hand down under her pants and began to touch herself as she imagined Liara naked next to her, moaning in her ear while she gently fucked her with her with her fingers.

_"__Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead…" _Liara was gasping with her eyes closed and her body moving slowly in rhythm with Taylor's gentle thrusts. Taylor could feel her breath against her lips.

_"__Then you say go slow, I fall behind…"_ A few faceless asari joined them, but Taylor felt her desire receding at their presence and quickly removed them from her mind.

_"__If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting…" _Liara was smiling at her with a look of pure hunger on her flushed face. The image was replaced by her lying on her back while Taylor gently curled her tongue around her clit.

"_Secrets stolen, from deep inside…"_ She felt her face heat up and her heart beating faster as she continued to taste Liara's sweet azure while Liara was begging her not to stop. Her tongue instinctively licked her lips.

_"__I will be waiting… time after time… time after time"_ She came with a loud moan as Liara brushed a purple tongue over her upper lip. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling brushing away a tear that was making its way down her temple.

_"__Time after time…" _The music faded and was about to repeat but Taylor told the stereo to turn off.

She went to the bathroom to wash her fingers and watched her flushed face in the mirror. _Thin ice, Taylor, very thin ice!_ She had long ago decided that her only love would be her work, but she knew this was different, although it had been a while since she had felt anything similar. She stared blankly at the faucet and then closed her eyes and shook her head. _I can't let this happen... _She knew that wouldn't easy though as she still had to face Liara probably every day until the mission was over.

She went back to the bed and lit a cigarette although she knew she technically wasn't allowed one, and then thought about the look on Liara's face when she had told her she didn't believe her words. _I wouldn't believe me either_. She had never felt guilty about how she treated the asari girls before, but Liara had a way of suddenly making her feel like the worst person in the galaxy with a single disapproving look. She took a long drag of the cigarette and decided it was time for shore-leave.

"Don't you think it's a little early to go on shore-leave?" Miranda asked the day after as she leaned back against the fish-tank in the Captain's cabin. Taylor looked up from her desk and regarded her for a while. "I've already sent a message to the Admiral explaining that we need supplies and time to catch our breath after Chariot" she replied calmly. Miranda stared at her for a second before she nodded. "Right. So this has nothing to do with a certain someone who currently resides in the XO office of this ship?" she asked.

Taylor's breath suddenly caught in her throat. She tried to blink but found this to be an enormous effort and thus stared at Miranda for a moment in utter disbelief. _How the fuck did she know that?! _

Taylor had deliberately ignored Liara as best she could after their little somewhat awkward encounter the day before, but it had proved difficult to do that completely as she would still forward relevant intel and still somehow manage to almost always be there when Taylor went to fetch coffee in the mess hall. They nodded and tried with all their might not to look at each other, but Taylor still couldn't help herself from stealing anxious glances in her direction when she was sure Liara wasn't looking. The nervous tension whenever she was around had increased and it made Taylor furious with herself. She tried to read Liara's expressions whenever she was in the vicinity, and quickly concluded that Liara was just as nervous around her as she was around Liara. The shore-leave was intended to clear Taylor's head and get her to focus entirely on the mission again, but she had definitely not expected that Miranda had sensed her true motives, and she was determined not to give anything away to her.

She exhaled slowly and then gave Miranda an innocent look. "I don't know what you're talking about" she replied before she turned her head to stare at her terminal. She could feel her hands becoming uncomfortably clammy.

Miranda approached her and kneeled before her desk to get a closer look at her face. Taylor could feel Miranda's eyes burning a hole in her cheek but continued to stare at her terminal. "Please tell you don't have feelings for her" Miranda said quietly with a shake of her head.

Taylor gave a snort of contempt before she turned her head to look at her."Please, remember who you're talking to. Asari are for fucking, nothing more" she said casually.

Miranda did not seem entirely convinced but after a few seconds of staring at Taylor suspiciously, she then rose and turned to walk over to the fish-tank. Taylor watched her for a moment with her hands shaking slightly before Miranda then turned again and fixed her with a slightly concerned look.

"I've seen the way you look at her, Taylor. Or more accurately they way you deliberately try to avoid looking at her." she said as she approached her. Miranda then fixed her with a stare which Taylor returned trying with all her might to keep her expression completely impassive.

"I don't trust her is all" Taylor replied. Miranda kept staring at her for several seconds and Taylor suddenly felt an almost irresistible urge to immediately throw her out of her cabin.

"All right Captain. I look forward to it" Miranda finally said and then gave Taylor a smile before she exited the Captain's cabin.

**Beldoir**

They landed on Beldoir the following day and Taylor gave the order to get the ship looked over and restock their supplies. As the ship slowly emptied she flashed through her new e-mails on her private terminal in the CIC and decided that there was nothing that couldn't wait. It was late in the afternoon and they would stay over till the next day before they .left around noon.

Lieutenant Palmer came up beside her and asked her if she was ready to go. He then gave her a wink and ttold her that there was a club they absolutely must visit. Taylor smiled and nodded, but felt strangely disengaged. She shook her head slightly to rid herself of this unwanted feeling before she told him to go ahead and then turned and headed for her cabin to change. She decided not to wear a dress and instead went with the N7 leather jacket and a skintight black t-shirt and pants. She put on a bit of make-up and gave herself a smirk in the mirror. _Go fuck yourself Liara!_

The club was like all the other clubs she had visited and she took in the crowd as she waited for a waitress to clear out their empty dishes. Lieutenant Palmer sat next to her and watched an asari dance on the table next to theirs. She leaned over to get a look at the asari's face. She was not exactly pretty but her moves were nonetheless enticing. An asari waitress then appeared to take their plates and Taylor gave the asari her most charming smirk. The waitress didn't look at her however, and just took their dishes and placed them on a small trey, before she immediately left. _Oh well_. There were other girls though. There always were.

She canned the room again and soon spotted Miranda at another table across the room seemingly getting very cozy with a human soldier. She narrowed her eyes to get a look at him, and was a little relieved to find out that it wasn't one of hers. She didn't mind Miranda getting herself some stress-relief but she would have been very disappointed if Miranda had chosen one of her soldiers for that, and didn't exactly relish the idea of having to tell her off for it, since she was beginning to understand that her own feelings for Liara were starting to get a little more complicated than she'd like. She watched Miranda throw a leg over the soldier before he started to kiss her neck and gave her a knowing smile when their eyes met. Miranda gave her a wink and a smirk before she closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly back to make more room for the soldier's mouth and tongue.

Taylor shook her head and chuckled a little. Miranda could have any man she wanted and did when it suited her. She had actually once walked in on Miranda with one of the crew-men on their previous mission together, and had been very uneasy when Miranda had later visited her cabin to explain. Miranda had made no excuses however and had simply informed Taylor that she needed men once in a while to give her pleasure and hoped that Taylor understood that. Her face had been completely expressionless as she had said those words, and Taylor had then realized that the two of them were of like minds and then admitted that she did the very same thing whenever she had the chance. Miranda had somehow not been surprised at all by this and Taylor suspected that it was at that exact moment that they had started to become friends.

She rose and went to the bar to get herself a drink. The human bartender looked her up and down with a smile but she immediately gave him a glare to let him know that she was not interested. He quickly got the hint and produced an orange drink, before he turned to another customer. Beside her a human girl and an asari were giggling as they took careful sips of their pink drinks through green straws. Taylor caught their eyes and smiled. The girls continued their giggling as they moved closer to her. They were both pretty and well-proportioned. The human had a small tattoo of a leaping trout on her lower leg. _I wonder if she wiggles._

She fetched her jacket and put it on before she turned. The human and the asari were both asleep naked and spooning. She checked the clock on the wall. It would soon be daylight. She wondered for a moment if she should leave some credits for them but decided against it. She turned the lights off in the small tacky hotel-room and then carefully closed the door behind her. As she exited the hotel she found that she didn't know where she was but there was thankfully a taxi-stand just across the street and she walked over and pushed the button. She found that she had to wait for a few minutes and shuddered a bit in the cold morning air.

She had trouble shaking an image of Liara while she had fucked the two girls, but had eventually managed to let her mind go entirely blank. The girls had been impressed with her N7 jacket and had asked her to keep it on while the asari rode her fingers and the human sat on her face. She had eventually ditched it however as her skin became uncomfortably clammy. The cab finally arrived and she entered and gave the driver instructions. She wasn't feeling good for some reason. She tried to convince herself that it was the drinks and lack of sleep, but she knew it wasn't. She had managed to avoid Liara the day before and was confident that she had not left the ship. Liara didn't seem the type to go on shore-leave; at least not the way she and the rest of the soldiers did. She gave the cab-driver some credits and walked over to the Particle.

**The Particle**

The ship was completely silent and dark as she entered and she quietly went for the elevator and pushed the button to deck one. When the elevator-doors opened Liara exited and almost bumped into her. Liara winced slightly and quickly took a step backwards. Taylor realized that she probably smelled like a good mix of alcohol and cheap perfume.

"Have a nice time?" Liara asked unsmiling.

Taylor stared at her for a moment and then licked her lips. "Yeah" she replied quietly. She wanted to give her a smirk but somehow couldn't.

Liara averted her eyes and walked past her, being careful not to touch her. Taylor turned and watched her heading for the bridge. "No shore-leave for the Shadow Broker, huh?" she called after her.

Liara stopped and slowly turned around. "My date just left. Although I believe he has trouble walking due to severe strain on the muscles in his hips and buttocks" she replied with a scornful smirk.

Taylor instinctively flared her nostrils and felt a rage of jealousy make her heart beat faster. She knew Liara was lying, but couldn't shake the image of her on all fours while some naked soldier fucked her relentlessly. The thought made her want to both vomit and masturbate at the same time. She inhaled deeply and managed to slow her heartbeat. "Good for you" she replied as she clenched her fists. Liara gave her a look that immediately made Taylor remember the phrase _two can play that game _before she turned and headed for the bridge.


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of her omni-tool buzzing somehow fit perfectly with Taylor's dream and it therefore took at least four buzzes before she finally reached out for it on the floor next to her bed and pulled it up. She blinked a few times from grogginess and then winced at the searing pain in her head. She opened her mouth and raised her eye-brows a few times to stretch the skin of her face and then finally pushed the button on her omni-tool. A holo-screen immediately emanated from it and on it was the face of Liara.

"Captain Hayes. I need to see you immediately in the war room" she said.

Taylor blinked again and then furrowed her brow. "Liara?.. what time is it?" she asked with a slightly raspy voice.

"21:28 hours" Liara replied. Taylor's eyes widened a bit at how long she had evidently been asleep.

"I've received a message from Aria T'Loak. We need to convene immediately" Liara continued. Taylor looked at the holo-screen for a minute while she tried to blink her immense headache away and properly grasp the meaning of Liara's words.

"Captain?" Liara asked after a moment of silence. Taylor shook her head. "Yes, of course. Get the others. I'll meet you in the war room in five" she replied. Liara gave her a slight nod before she broke the transmission.

"His name is Cleggo" Liara said and then handed Miranda a datapad. Taylor had taken a few aspirin from her medicine-cabinet in the bathroom before she left and they were slowly working, but her stomach still wasn't entirely satisfied with the lack of food.

"Cleggo…" Miranda said reflectively as she studied the datapad. "I've heard of him, but never met him".

Garrus walked over to stand beside her. "Who is he?" he asked.

Miranda sighed before she answered. "Bad news, basically" She handed Garrus the datapad before she walked over to stand beside Taylor.

"As far as I know he was responsible for coordinating the abductions and indoctrination of the people at Sanctuary. I thought he died during the Reaper invasion" she added and rested her hands against the square table in the war-room.

Taylor shared a quick glance with her before she then turned to Liara. "Any connection to Mr. Crow?" she asked.

Liara looked uneasy for a second but quickly composed herself. "My contacts have forwarded some messages from him to an unknown receiver. The messages are encrypted but I've sent them to the Alliance for decoding. I can't be sure whether they are to Mr. Crow, but the initials J.H. were written in both messages" she replied.

Taylor lowered her head and stared blankly at the table for a moment. "Jack Harper" she muttered. "Where does Aria T'Loak fit into this?" she asked.

"I contacted her a while ago, with the Admirals permission. Aria knows everything that goes on on Omega. I asked her to keep a lookout for anything unusually suspicious" Liara answered.

Taylor stared at her for a moment with a furrowed brow. Liara blinked a few times and then lowered her eyes. "Stromberg, how long till we can reach Omega?" Taylor called over the com. "About 20 hours ma'am" he replied after a few seconds. "Right. We'll set the course for Omega. I'll call the Council and the Admiral. Dismissed" she said.

When Liara was about to leave the war room, Taylor put a hand on her arm to stop her. "I think we need to talk" she said quietly. Liara stopped and glanced at Taylor but then lowered her head and fixed her eyes on the floor. "About what?" she asked. Taylor stared at her and felt the uneasiness in her stomach return at the look on Liara's face. "Nothing" she replied and then removed her hand and walked past her.

**Omega**

"Captain Caroline Taylor Hayes" Aria T'Loak said. Taylor remained in her spot while Aria began to circle her trailing her eyes up and down Taylor's body before she stopped in front of her. "You have quite the reputation among my dancers" she added with a knowing smile before she sat down on the couch behind her.

Taylor couldn't help but smirk at this remark and stole a quick peek out at the dancers on the tables around Afterlife. She had been to Omega several times in the past hunting terrorists groups and had gotten to know the inside of Aria's club and her dancers quite well. She didn't recognize any of them however, but then she usually forgot them the moment after they left.

"Don't believe everything you hear" Taylor replied casually.

Aria returned her smirk and then beckoned her sit on the couch next to her. "Too bad" she said and leaned back against the couch.

_Interesting… _

She moved closer to Taylor and fixed her with a scrutinizing look. After a moment she then leaned into Taylor's ear. "I wouldn't mind a demonstration of your… _skills _later" she whispered and then quickly licked Taylor's earlobe before she moved her head back.

Taylor took a deep breath and then quickly glanced up at Liara, who was staring blankly at a small table to her right. She looked slightly uncomfortable and Taylor instinctively knew that she had noticed Aria's little gesture.

"I'll think about it" Taylor replied with a slight smirk after she had resettled her eyes on Aria. She then cleared her throat and exchanged a glance with Miranda who immediately shook her head very slightly with a piercing look. _Yeah yeah I know, this asari is off limits too… _"

About Cleggo.." Taylor started before she turned to Aria again. "I understand he comes in here quite a bit."

Aria rose and went over to one of her guards and took a datapad from him. "Almost every night. He seems to share your… preferences Captain" Aria replied.

Taylor noticed Liara fixing Aria with a slightly threatening glare, but Aria was too busy studying the datapad to notice. "He is somewhat less… nice to them however. Why is why my men have repeatedly warned him to keep his hands to himself." Aria continued.

"What do you mean?" Miranda asked, looking suddenly worried.

Aria quickly glanced at Liara before she spoke. "He likes to lure them back to his apartment here on Omega and uh… well let's just say they don't leave again. At least not alive, that is" she replied.

Taylor and Miranda shared a horrified look, before Taylor immediately rose and walked over to grab the datapad from Aria's hands. She studied the image of Cleggo intensely while she clenched her jaw. "Bastard" she muttered through gritted teeth.

"Yes, thoroughly. Which is why I wouldn't mind you and your friends here letting him disappear for good" Aria replied.

Taylor looked up at her. "Why didn't you just ban him from your club?" she asked curiously.

Aria smiled before she took the datapad from Taylor's hands and gave it to her guard again. "He's a paying customer Captain" she replied before she went back to sit on the couch. "Besides I've had worse. This is Omega, remember?"

Garrus took a few steps forward and settled himself right in front of Aria. His position was that of a tiger just before it took a leap to snatch its prey. "So you would willingly risk the lives of your dancers just to earn a few credits?" he snarled.

Taylor immediately walked up to place a hand on his arm. She was just as disgusted as he was but they needed Aria's cooperation, and it wouldn't do any good to make her refuse to help them.

"The dancers know the risks General Vakarian. As I said: This is Omega" Aria replied coolly.

Taylor tightened her grip on Garrus' arm and he then took a small step backwards. "So what do you propose we do?" Taylor asked Aria.

Aria turned her head to look Liara up and down before she answered. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing your job for you Captain, but if I were to make a suggestion it would be to find _somebody _who could lure him to a position where you could question him… and more" she replied.

Taylor turned to look at Liara. _I can't let her do that… _Liara was staring blankly at Aria, but then suddenly took a step forwards. "Do you have something I can wear?" she asked her.

Aria rose and chuckled a bit before she extended her hand and gently stroked Liara's cheek "An information broker _and_ a nightclub dancer. I can't wait to see you sliding on one my tables" she answered with a smirk. "Go check with Brazz down in the bar. He'll find you something slutty to wear" she added before she approached Taylor and leaned into her ear again

"She's cute Captain. She can join us if you like" she whispered before she turned her head to stare hungrily at Liara. Taylor felt Aria's hand slide down her back and then settle itself on her buttock with a slight squeeze. Taylor swallowed but didn't reply.

"You don't have to do this Liara" Garrus said as Liara was getting dressed in a bathroom stall in the basement level of Afterlife. The bathroom was reserved for Aria's men and they had been told to keep away while Liara changed into her dancer outfit.

"With all due respect Garrus, that decision is not yours to make. If Liara is willing to do this and the Captain agrees, then it's our best chance to get to Cleggo" Miranda replied.

They were both leaning against the bathroom-doors on either side of Liara's stall, while Taylor sat on the sink opposite them staring blankly at the faucet. Garrus turned to look at Taylor who immediately averted her eyes. She didn't like Liara taking such a risk, but she also knew that she wouldn't in any way be able to talk her out of it.

"Miranda's right" Taylor muttered.

She turned her head to look at Garrus, who then crossed his arms over his chest with a shake of his head. "I don't like it" he said. Taylor stared at him for a moment. _Neither do I Garrus… _

The door to the bathroom suddenly opened and Liara exited and then twirled before she looked at Garrus and Miranda. "How do I look?" she asked.

"Slutty" Miranda replied with a smile.

Garrus seemed to be having a hard time looking at his old friend dressed in an outfit that left so little to the imagination and deliberately stared at the floor while he shifted nervously.

Liara then looked at Taylor and silently asked her opinion as well. She had a small somewhat triumphant smile on her face that made Taylor think that she wanted her to admit how sexy she thought Liara was, and enjoyed the fact that she couldn't while they were flanked by their two companions.

_Damn it Liara! _Her eyes instinctively went to Liara's breasts which were uncommonly exposed and then down over her stomach before they stopped at the hem of the miniskirt which covered less than three inches of her thighs, and she involuntarily found herself thinking back on her alone-time in her cabin while the sound of "Time after time" started playing in her head.

"Good" Taylor muttered forcing her eyes and the memory away.

"Right, are you ready Liara?" Miranda asked.

Liara nodded and the three of them then exited the bathroom while Taylor followed behind them. She took at deep breath and tried with all her might not to look at Liara's behind on her way out.

Taylor followed behind Garrus as they slowly navigated around tables, dancers and waitresses on the ground level of Afterlife. She almost bumped into him when he abruptly stopped and turned, pulling her closer. "That's him over there" he said in a half-whisper.

She scanned the room and spied him sitting in an empty booth watching an asari dance on the table in front of him. She saw Miranda putting her finger to her tiny ear-piece signaling Liara to his whereabouts. Liara had entered the ground level a few minutes in advance and was currently standing at a bar only a few yards from Cleggo's table. She saw Liara nodding in understanding of Miranda's instructions and turning to walk over to him.

Taylor followed her movements with her eyes, clenching her jaw and flaring her nostrils, but just as she could see Liara sitting down Garrus grabbed hold of her arm and beckoned her follow over to the private room Aria had reserved for them.

She sat down on an ugly, crescent-shaped, cream-colored sofa in the dimly lit room and watched Garrus set up his sniper-rifle. Garrus peered through the scope, and started feeding them little pieces of information as to what was currently happening. Taylor's stomach was in knots. _Please let her be okay_. A few minutes went by as Garrus continued to recount Liaras interactions with Cleggo through the small binocular of his long gun. He then suddenly lifted his head. "They're coming!" he said.

Taylor instinctively rose to peer out through the curtains, but Miranda pulled her back and shook her head. Taylor slowly sat back down and took a deep breath.

It only took a few seconds for Liara and Cleggo to reach the room, but to Taylor it seemed like years. She heard Liara giggling outside and saw a blue hand emerging through the curtain waving at them to hide in the corners. Another second went by and Liara and Cleggo then appeared, Cleggo with a hand firmly placed on Liaras left buttock. Taylor felt an immediate and almost irresistible urge to lunge at him, but calmed herself and waited for Liara's signal for them to step forward.

They sat on the couch and Liara straddled him, still giggling like some school-girl with a crush. Taylor's heart was pounding in her chest while she dug her fingernails deep into her palm. _Get the fuck off her!_ Liara leaned in to kiss him, and when he closed his eyes she extended her hand to beckon them closer.

"Cleggo, I presume" Taylor said, and put her Locust SMG to the side of his head.

Liara climbed off him and took the gun Miranda handed her, her face completely calm. Cleggo struggled for a second to compute this completely unexpected turn of events, as he peered to the side to look at the gun that was drilling into his temple. "Who the hell are you guys?" he finally said, scanning the room to look at each of them.

Taylor leaned in closer. "That's not important right now" she said quietly. "What's important is that you be a good boy and tell us everything you know about Mr. Crow. If you're good, were going to let you walk out of here alive. If not, then I'm going to let my turian friend here tear your balls off and feed them to you". She paused to give him a smile before she continued "And then I'm going to let him kill you" she added.

Cleggo eyed her for a moment before he broke into a chuckle. "You got the wrong guy, sweetie. I have no idea what you're talking about" he said.

Taylor's smile faded and she hit him with her gun. "Oh I think you do, Cleggo" she replied calmly and thrust her gun in his eye.

He winced, groaning with pain, and raised a hand to remove the Locust, but Taylor snapped at his fingers, while Garrus quickly slipped a knife to his throat. "Don't even think about it" Garrus said.

Cleggo opened his free eye again and looked at Taylor. "I don't know where he is, okay?" he said, as he seemed to finally realize the danger he was in.

"Not good enough Cleggo" Taylor sneered.

Cleggo looked around the room and cleared his throat evidently stalling.

"Now, Cleggo!" Taylor said impatiently and bore her gun even deeper into his eye, which was slowly bruising.

"Okay, okay!" he said raising his hands in a calming gesture. "He's.. he's on Hagalasz!" he exclaimed.

Taylor instinctively turned her head to look at Liara who was staring at Cleggo with her eyebrows raised in complete bafflement. "What?" Liara said, seemingly convinced she hadn't heard him right.

"He's.. he's taken over the Shadow Brokers ship and hides in it" Cleggo continued.

Taylor and Liara exchanged a look before Taylor turned to Cleggo again with a furrowed brow. "That ship crashed like 23 years ago…" she said tentatively and then drew her gun back from his eye to better judge whether he was lying to them.

A sigh of relief escaped Cleggo at the removal of the Locust, but he didn't move as Garrus knife was still present at his throat. "He salvaged some of it at the orders of the Illusive Man. He's rebuilt it" he replied.

The blue color seemed to drain from Liara's face at Cleggo's words, and for a second it looked like she was going to faint. Taylor instinctively reached her hand out to catch her but Miranda was closer, and held her arms firmly in place. "I'm okay" Liara said to her and composed herself.

Garrus slowly removed his knife and was dragging Cleggo to his feet when Cleggo's courage evidently came back. "Who cares if you're okay, you stupid asari slut!" he snarled at Liara.

_That's it!_ Taylor charged at him and grabbed his throat making him fall back against the couch. The look on Cleggo's face was one of complete astonishment, but he didn't move. "You look scared Cleggo. I wonder if that's the same look those dancers had in their eyes before you killed them" Taylor sneered.

Cleggo tried to give her a smile but it turned into a grimace when Taylor squeezed his throat and he then quickly reached up and tried to force Taylor's hand away. She tightened her grip further and watched him gasping for air still pulling at her hand. _Say goodbye Cleggo… _She maintained her grip and after a few seconds she felt him slowly relaxing his arms before his bloodshot eyes then rolled back in his head.

"Taylor!"

She immediately released Cleggo's throat and turned her head to look at Liara. The expression on Liara's face was an odd mixture of worry and slight condemnation. _Fuck!_ Taylor took a deep breath before she put two fingers to Cleggo's throat. She felt oddly relieved when she found a pulse and nodded her head before she rose.

"He's just passed out" she muttered.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Particle**

"He's lying…" Liara was staring blankly at the table in the war room, still evidently in complete disbelief at Cleggo's words. "I crashed that ship into a Cerberus cruiser… I watched it get destroyed…" she said quietly.

After their more or less successful interrogation of Cleggo, Taylor had contacted Aria over her omni-tool and told her that she should probably find someone to take out the trash from the private room they had borrowed. She had stared at Cleggo for a few seconds while Garrus had stripped him of his omni-tool, until Miranda had touched her arm and reminded her that their business was concluded. She was horrified that Cleggo might be right, and worse, that there might still have been very sensitive information left on those terminals, and something told her that Cleggo at least believed his own words to be true. Her previous employment of similar interrogation techniques usually got her the truth from her enemies.

"Just how much of your intel was left before you crashed the ship?" Miranda asked while she paced the war room.

Liara kept staring at the table for a few seconds before she looked up at Miranda. "I don't know" she muttered.

Miranda stopped and then exhaled audibly before she stared at Liara. "Think Liara! Could this be how Mr. Crow knew we were searching for his clones on Chariot?" she asked somewhat impatiently.

"That intel is over 20 years old and it's not like he has access to Liara's contacts" Garrus remarked. "Whatever was left is worthless to him now. Besides this Cleggo is obviously a lying bastard. People will say anything with a Locust in their eye" he added.

Taylor looked up at him. "He wasn't lying" she replied calmly.

"I agree" Miranda said while she looked at each of them in turn "he's a filthy pig, but he told the truth"

Garrus did not seem convinced "So he' s been hiding for 23 years in that ship? Impressive" he remarked. "I should note though that Shepard salvaged some tech from there to help construction of the Crucible. How is it that nobody found any terminals?"

"I don't know but it's the last place anyone would look. It makes sense, and we have to check it out" Taylor replied. She glanced briefly at Liara before she headed over to the war terminal and looked up Hagalasz on a map. "It's going to take us at least two days to get to Hagalasz. I'll check with the Admiral to see if any of the other platoons are closer. We'll stay on Omega until I hear from him" she said before she nodded at her companions to signal the end of the meeting.

Garrus and Miranda instantly turned and left the war room, but Liara remained in her spot, still staring blankly at the table. Taylor walked over and settled herself beside her. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Liara kept staring at the surface for several seconds before she then turned to face Taylor. She glanced at her for a moment but then lowered her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "No" she replied quietly.

Taylor took a deep breath. "It's not your fault. You did what you could back then, and Garrus is right. Whatever files might be left on those terminals are useless" she replied.

The pained expression on Liara's face made her want to reach out a hand to stroke Liara's cheek and this time she did not ignore the instinct. Liara immediately raised her eyes to look at her and then took a step backwards.

"I left the dancer outfit at the club, Captain. But I can see how my blue skin might confuse you. I share that color with all my asari sisters; even the dancers" she said with a slightly dejected smile.

Taylor slowly lowered her hand before she then shook her head with complete resignation. "What the fuck do you want from me Liara?"

Liara's smile faded and she stared at Taylor for moment before she then turned to walk to the door. "Give my best to Aria" she said on her way out.

After Taylor had written to the Admiral about their interrogation of Cleggo and asked for ships closer to Hagalasz to immediately go investigate, she rose and stared blankly at the fish-tank for a few minutes. _Fuck… _She wanted to pound her head against the glass for not just ignoring the instinct to touch Liara, but chose to hurl a random datapad across the room instead, as she knew getting herself injured at this point or any point in the mission would be ridiculously moronic.

She took a deep breath and decided to go to the cargo hold and check on her equipment and armor to find something else to focus on and kept whistling a tune to herself on the way down in the elevator to keep her occupied in the meantime.

The cargo hold was empty and she quickly went to her locker to get her things, but just as she was about to turn and go to the weapon bench, she stopped and furrowed her brow noticing to very small white objects on the floor which had fallen from one of the pockets of her armor.

She kneeled down and picked them up and placed them in her other hand, leaning closer to study them. Two small white pills rested in her palm with the letter 'H' carved on the surface of both. She then stared for a moment at the door to her the elevator while images of Liara in her dancer outfit appeared before her. "_Give my best to Aria_" Taylor closed her eyes before she immediately gulped the two pills down.

**Omega**

The sound of club-music was pumping in her ears while she made her way slowly through the large area on the ground level of Afterlife. To her left and right people gave her odd glances as she pushed her way through them. One of them grabbed her arm and scolded at her but she didn't hear him and kept going forward. She felt like she was in a trance as she slowly passed the guard who gave her a quick nod, which seemed to going in slow-motion.

The sounds and colours of the room seemed to be melting together in a confusing haze as she made it up the stairs in a gliding motion and then turned to watch the blurry image of the asari on the couch. She saw her rising and heard her saying something but couldn't make sense of it. A man approached her to the left of the asari, but the asari raised an arm at him to stop him. Taylor moved forward still having trouble focusing before she then saw the two half-circles between the asari's eyes.

"…Hallex" she heard Aria say before she moved closer and then stopped three inches from her face. There was a smile on Aria's face but she hardly had time to notice it before she quickly leaned in and caught her mouth.

She blinked a few times at the disturbing brightness of false sunlight and winced at the sudden searing pain in her head, before she placed a hand on her forehead and closed her eyes again. Flashbacks from the night before starting to form a confusing collage in her head before it finally settled on a specific image. _Aria!_

She rose abruptly and immediately turned her head to look at the other side of the bed. She was alone, and there was no sign of there having been anybody in the bed besides herself as the pillow next to hers was still fluffy. She hesitantly moved the covers from herself and found that she was naked. _What the fuck happened? _

She ignored the pain in her head and jumped from the bed and found her clothes neatly folded on a chair next to the bed. She dressed quickly and was about to go exit the room, when somebody suddenly opened the door.

"Good-morning Captain" Aria said. Taylor somehow automatically took a step backwards.

"Don't worry. Nothing happened" Aria said and then passed Taylor to look out the enormous windows to the left of the bed. "You were wasted" Aria explained and crossed her arms over her chest. She turned her head to look at Taylor before she continued. "I wouldn't have minded it so much if you hadn't kept saying 'I'm sorry Liara' over and over"

Taylor took a deep breath feeling the relief wash over her that she had somehow managed to scare Aria off without knowing it.

"I didn't think it was possible for Captain Caroline Taylor Hayes to fall in love. And with an asari no less" Aria added with a smirk.

Taylor glared at her. "I was wasted, remember?"

Aria chuckled as she slowly approached her. "Well at least I got to see what my dancers saw" she said as she looked Taylor up and down. "Consider it your payment for teasing me with that little pussy of yours" she continued and then placed a hand on Taylors arm and let it slide slowly up to her shoulder. "Maybe next time then" she added with a smirk and walked past Taylor to the door.

**The Particle**

"Captain, you wished to speak with us?" Councilor Tevos asked.

Taylor looked at each of the holographic images of the Councilors in the com room and nodded at them. "Yes. We have reason to believe that Mr. Crow might be on Hagalaz" she replied.

Councilor Tevos looked puzzled for a moment. "Hagalasz?" she asked. Taylor nodded affirmatively. "Hagalasz is inhabitable, Captain" Councilor Tevos said tentatively.

"The old Shadow Broker had his ship there and Dr. T'Soni took it over before she was forced to abandon it, when The Illusive Man attacked" Taylor explained.

Councilor Tevos shared a worried glance with Councilor Sparatus before she turned to Taylor again. "And the Shadow Broker's intel?" she asked.

Taylor swallowed before she replied. "We don't know how much of it survived, Councilors. But whatever may have been left in those files probably won't be of any use to Mr. Crow" she said.

Councilor Tevos inhaled deeply and averted her eyes for a moment. "You do of course realize, Captain, that the old Shadow Broker most likely had vast amounts of information on the Council" Councilor Sparatus remarked.

Taylor tilted her head slightly and resisted an impulse to roll her eyes. _Yes, he probably knew all about how you to like to give it to married men. _"I fail to see the importance of that particular issue right now Councilor. General Vakarian, Ex-Operative Lawson, Dr. T'Soni and myself all agree that the intel left, if any, is meaningless since it's been 23 years since that ship was overtaken" Taylor replied, trying with all her might to keep her tone polite.

Despite Taylor's best efforts Councilor Tevos immediately glared at her before a slightly mocking smile then curled her lips. "I warned you about this Captain. You almost risked your status to include the Shadow Broker on your mission and we complied because she seems so _excellent_ at keeping secrets" she said venomously.

Taylor felt her face heat up with rage, but before she could open her mouth to release the venomous retort waiting on her lips she noticed Miranda settling herself next to her.

"Councilors" Miranda said and then quickly nodded at each of them. "I have just heard from the Admiral. The fifth platoon seized the Shadow Broker's ship about an hour ago" she paused for a moment to exchange a glance with Taylor. Taylor furrowed her brow at the slight sadness in her expression "

The ship blew up. None of the soldiers survived." Miranda continued. Taylor stared at Miranda in complete disbelief as she repeated the sentence in her head.

"I'm sorry to hear that Miss Lawson" Councilor Sparatus replied after a moment.

"We'll expect a full report from the Alliance as soon as they are done investigating. I'll make sure it's forwarded to you, Councilors" Miranda replied.

Taylor heard the Councilor's all mutter a small 'Captain' before the transmission broke but didn't turn her head.


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N: Warning: there's a tiny bit of self-mutilation in this chapter. _**

_I sent them to die… _Taylor took a long puff of the cigarette as she watched the clock on her stereo blinking. It was 19:16 hours and she had not left her cabin since she had given the report to the Council that morning. Miranda had given her a very concerned look after the transmission ended, and asked if she was okay, but Taylor had ignored her and immediately retreated to her quarters.

A few hours after, she had received a report on the initial findings of the exploded ship. It seemed the ship had been empty of both equipment and people, but it had, as Cleggo had stated, been rebuilt into something resembling Liara's old hideout. She comforted herself in the fact that Garrus was right. It didn't make sense that Shepard had not discovered remaining intel, and it made even less sense if Cerberus would have stripped the crash-site of files first before they had then left it for Shepard to find, and finally gone back again to rebuild it.

She put the cigarette in the ash-tray and went to bathroom. She was both furious with herself that this Mr. Crow seemed to be playing her like a tune, and also felt extremely guilty that she had sent an entire platoon to their deaths. "They were soldiers, Taylor. Soldiers die" she muttered to herself in the mirror, but she couldn't help going over the faces of her own men one by one in her head and feel the muscles in her stomach clench as she imagined the horrified looks on their faces just before a bomb blew them to bits. She then saw the torn body of the asari in the Chariot R&D office-building before Aria T'Loaks image suddenly appeared in her mind. _You a junkie now too, Taylor? _

She stared at herself in the mirror and felt suddenly repulsed by her own reflection. The mission was so far a complete failure and she knew they were back to absolute square one. She closed her eyes and thought back on her inauguration at the Citadel Tower while citizens of the Citadel applauded her and suddenly chuckled despondently at the looks of their approving faces. _Taylor Hayes a Spectre. What a fucking joke! _

She exited the bathroom and hovered for a moment at her desk before she reached down and opened the bottom drawer and took out a small picture. On it was the face of a blond smiling young woman and Taylor trailed her finger over the image before she sat down on her chair and stared at it. She didn't notice Liara entering before she spoke up behind her.

"I heard about Hagalasz" Liara said quietly.

Taylor glanced in her direction, startled at her sudden presence, but didn't reply. She put the picture down on the desk and rested her elbows on the surface.

"What's her name?" Liara asked after a moment.

Taylor took the picture and turned it face down on the desk. She glanced up at Liara but then averted her eyes and took a deep breath. "Her name was Sarah" she replied quietly. She looked up again and saw that Liara's expression had turned into a mixture of discomfort and sympathy.

"I'm sorry" Liara said.

Taylor took the picture and put it in the bottom-drawer of the desk carefully avoiding looking at it in the process. "Yeah" she replied and rose from her chair.

She walked over to stare at the empty fish-tank and wished that she had remembered to buy fish when they were on Beldoir.

Liara came up to stand next to her. "Who was she?"

Taylor closed her eyes for a moment as an image of Sarah laughing appeared before her. She forced the memory away and opened her eyes again. "She was my girlfiend for three years" she replied while she stared blankly at the blue water. She could feel Liara's eyes on her for a second before she turned her head.

"What happened to her?"

Taylor took a step closer and leaned her side against the fish-tank. She crossed her arms over her chest and found a spot on the floor to fix her eyes on. "She was killed by batarian pirates" she answered monotonously.

She wasn't surprised that she didn't feel like crying. She had cried almost non-stop for three days after it had happened but never since. Not even at Sarah's funeral.

Sarah had looked breathtakingly beautiful in that casket with her curly hair and perfect features. There had been a hint of a smile on her pale face, and Taylor had gently brushed her thumb against Sarah's cold lips before she had turned and exited the funeral home without a word to anyone. The following night she had drunk herself into a coma and had awoken next to an asari in a small, cheap hotel-room. She had quickly snatched up her clothes from the floor and exited before the asari woke. When she had returned home she had taken a 45- minute long shower and scrubbed herself until her skin was red. It had felt awful the first time after Sarah's death, but that had soon changed.

She could feel Liara watching her and wondered what she must be thinking. She looked up and saw that Liara's expression gave away her feeling of immense pity at Taylor's words. _Fuck you! _She suddenly felt her eyes well up and blinked a few times to suppress the emerging tears while she turned and walked to stand in front of the bed.

"I'm very sorry" Liara said behind her. Taylor felt a hand on her shoulder and her breath then caught in her throat.

_Fuck it_!

She quickly turned around and grabbed Liara's hand before she put her other hand on Liara's back and pulled her forcefully closer. Liara's large breasts pressed against her own and she glanced down at them before she settled her eyes on Liara's lips only a few inches away. Liara gave a small gasp and struggled a bit but Taylor maintained her grip and Liara soon let her hands slowly rise to rest around Taylor's neck as she parted her lips and gave her a look of cautious desire. Liara leaned in very slowly and closed her eyes before their lips touched.

Taylor let her hand slide down to Liara's firm buttock and gently stroked it before she parted Liara's lips with her own. She tried to imagine what that warm purple tongue must look like as it gently rubbed against hers and felt an intense throbbing between her thighs at the thought and sensation of it. Liara gave a small moan when Taylor then let her other hand slide gently against her sensitive neck-folds. Taylor broke the kiss to unclasp the buttons on Liara's jacket with one hand while she still held her close with the other, but stopped as Liara quickly pushed her hand away and removed herself from her grasp.

The look in Liara's eyes was regretful, but it clashed against the purple flush on her cheeks. "I.. I can't do this" she said in a half-whisper. Her eyes flickered nervously across the room as she made a half-turn.

Taylor settled herself in front of her and caught her eyes. "You want to though. You've wanted to for a long time" It wasn't meant to be provoking. It was the simple truth and they both knew it.

Liara closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before she opened them again and looked at her. "I don't want to be just another asari you use and throw away" she said quietly and then fixed her eyes on the small space of floor between them. "I need to feel special before I… give myself to someone…"

Taylor felt her eyes threatening to well up again and once again blinked and then clenched her jaw as she swallowed. She was special. More than Taylor really wanted to admit to herself. _I can't give you what you want Liara. _A tear fell from her eye and she quickly brushed it away while Liara eyes were still fixed on the floor. She wanted to reach out and stroke her chin and lips. She wanted to feel her skin against on her own and just hold her while they forgot everything around them. She wanted to see a smile on her face as she leaned closer to kiss her. She wanted to tell her that she was falling in love with her despite trying her best not to.

She felt another tear in her eye and blinked it away.

_Stop it you pussy!_

"Maybe you just need to feel a tongue on your clit like every other asari I've fucked" she replied coolly and forced a smirk on her lips.

Liara immediately looked up and stared at her in complete disbelief. Taylor saw her hand rise before Liara slapped her but didn't stop it. Liara immediately turned and half-ran to the door, but before she exited she turned and gave Taylor a disgusted look. "I'm starting to think your girlfiend was the lucky one" she said with obvious loathing. Taylor clenched her jaw and turned her back to her. _She was._

She went to fetch the picture from the drawer and took it to the bed. She placed it on the mattress and undressed while she paced backwards and forwards in front of the bed, never taking her eyes off the smiling Sarah.

She went to fetch a cigarette and lit it and then took a long drag as she hovered naked in front of the bed. She took the picture and put her cigarette to it and watched the corner start to sear and curl up. As the soot started to cover Sarah's hair her vision became blurry with tears. _Goodbye Sarah, I love you._

She quickly found the empty metal trash-can beside the couch and threw the picture in it. She took another few drags as she watched Sarah's face blacken and curl until there was nothing left but burning cinders. Her cheeks and chest were wet with tears and she found a t-shirt in her footlocker to dry herself with.

She looked down at her palm and then hesitantly stubbed the cigarette against it, immediately wincing at the searing pain. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before she threw the stub in the direction of the trash-can. She glanced down to watch her palm again. She would have to come up with an explanation for that before her next physical.

The wound was still smoking slightly and she quickly went to the bathroom to clean it. She caught her reflection in the mirror and saw that her right cheek was red from where Liara had slapped her. She had deserved that; no question. She winced and bit her lip as she carefully cleaned the wound with water and soap.

When she was done she found that she was in desperate need of a drink and found the bottle of Peruggian Whisky in her footlocker which she always brought with her on tours. She unscrewed the bottle and took a long gulp, savoring the slight burning on her tongue and the feel of her insides heating.

She told the stereo to play 'Time after time' and took another smaller sip. Her eyes had dried up when she had cleaned her wound but the tears now poured freely down her cheeks again as she listened to the words of the song. She sat on the bed and stared blankly at the couch in front of her for a moment.

She suddenly began to chuckle as she thought was a sight she must be as she sat there naked and crying on the bed with her red cheek and a half-empty whisky bottle in her burned hand. _If you could only see me now Liara. _She found another cigarette and lighted it as she lay back against the mattress. She wished that she had a naked asari to keep her occupied; to keep her from remembering and feeling. She placed the cigarette in her mouth and began to touch herself, but gave up after about two minutes as she couldn't focus clearly on an image and her cunt remained thoroughly dry. She rose to sit again and downed the rest of the bottle and then threw it on the floor. She lowered her head and felt her body and eye-lids becoming heavy. She fell asleep half-sitting with the cigarette between her fingers.


End file.
